Coming off my relationship with California Girl, I was a totally different person. For one, I was now a signed artist with all of the luxuries at arms length; money, notoriety and let’s not forget, women. More importantly, I was dealing with a deep distrust for the opposite sex which I’d never encountered before. I didn’t go and cry in my pillow, eat a cheesecake or swear off chicks but I did make a decision to be a little more careful with the type of women that I allowed close to me. When I say close, I mean that meeting family, taking trips or knowing any financial information was strictly forbidden. The types of aforementioned women included “groupies” and “chicken heads,” in the South they are commonly known as “boppers” because they bop from crew to crew on the scene. My new distrust and corresponding actions would ensure anybody that I was just “talking to” couldn’t really hurt me.
Now I don’t know if I said it before, but I have never had any problems meeting women. When I was in high school they did my homework and when I got older they did my laundry. So don’t think for a second that I’m one of these lames who gotta pay to make ’em stay.
That said, after California Girl I returned to running my thang. Now I would be lying if I said that being a rapper didn’t help me get girls but honestly, I just didn’t have to work to find them anymore. I was driving the same car (a black BMW 745), staying in the same condo and hanging out at the same places I did before I got my record deal. Only now I had a few more eyes on me and occasionally one would be bold enough to tell me she liked my song. This sometimes led to me making a new friend and getting friendly at a nearby hotel.
To this day I’m a pretty normal cat concerning how I like to have fun. I play a lot of basketball, watch a lot of movies and eat out a few times each week. And back when I was first got my record deal, I was really into my routine while at home in Atlanta. But one night when my homeboy said he had two chicks to hangout with, I had a few standard questions:
“What she look like?”
“She got a fat ass?” (ed note. hey, he’s honest!)
“Where she work?”
All of his answers checked out so I said, “Cool.” The plan was to get something to eat and go back to his girl’s house to drink. It seemed promising and if she looked like he said she did, this was my lucky day.
We met at a local Atlanta hotspot and from our introduction I could kind of see that Homegirl was different from the women I had been dating. When I introduced myself, she said she didn’t know who I was. Initially I thought she was hitting me with the “I don’t listen to rap” game, but after further conversation, I saw that she did listen to hip-hop and if she was pretending, she deserved an Oscar. I loved that it didn’t really impress her that I was a rapper and I was even more impressed when she told me she was a realtor. For the first time in awhile I found myself working a little bit to make sure I’d see this woman again. I was taken aback when she offered to pay for the check but again, maybe she was running game. Still, I paid for the entire meal and we all went back to her girl’s crib.
Once we arrived, they started taking shots of Patron (plug, I want a check), and within a few minutes my homeboy and his girl disappeared. This left me and Homegirl in the living room and me with enough room to operate. We talked for the next three hours about everything from our careers to our childhoods until we eventually fell asleep. When we woke up it was 5 A.M., and I dropped her off at home. Before we parted ways we exchanged numbers.
Two things happened that night; for the first time ever I spent the night with woman (who was not on her period) and nothing happened. Secondly, I broke my rule about really letting a chick into my personal life again.
After a few more nights with Homegirl, I was cool with letting her in. I had learned so much from my prior mistake that I was confident I would not slip again. Besides she was different from my past women. She had a career, her own money and was pretty independent. She also had a similar upbringing and since she was a little bit older than my last girlfriend, so she had some real life experience by comparison. I stared to spend most nights at her crib because it was close to the studio where I did most of my recording and on nights I wasn’t at hers, she found her way to my spot. Curlers in my bathroom drawer, make up on my counter, yeah, it was safe to say I was back in a relationship.
We really had a great situation. Since she had her own life happening she didn’t really sweat mine. Her normal life balanced mine because, by now, I was on the road and dealing with little fame. I talked to her about everything going on, she would listen and try to give me advice. Most times she would be way off but it was dope that she tried to help. We would spend time together whenever I could but things were changing and we both began to notice.
I was still doing me when I was out of town but at home I didn’t really mess around. She started going out more and that’s usually a cover up for another situation. I had never checked a chick’s phone before and I wasn’t about to start. I got the information necessary from my boy that hooked us up. Apparently his chick was running her mouth after a falling out with Homegirl and spilled the beans on her new little friend.
When I got the information, I didn’t immediately just flip out. I approached her and like the woman I knew she was, she owned up to it. Well, not completely. She said that nothing had happened but her plea was enough to convict and I cut her off. I wasn’t as hurt about this situation because I kind of saw it coming and I never completely gave myself to her (for good reason). I didn’t fuck with her for a few months after that but eventually we talked and even had a little arrangement for awhile.
Today we’re cool and we can still talk about anything. If I have any female questions, I holla at her and vice versa. She later told me that she was too independent to play second banana to my career and what could come of it; money, celebrity and ultimately, other women. To this day she tells me that as long as I am in the music business I will never have a serious relationship.
You know what, I’m starting to think she’s right.
Southern’s Previous Post: California Girl
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