Attack of the Penis Snatchers.

In Congo, there have been a wave of lynchings and attacks brought on by the fear of sorcerers suspected of using magic to steal or shrink men’s penises.
Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo’s sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Exactly how does one “steal” a penis? Ambush? Drive By Penis Snatching? Grab and Go? Police in Kinshasha are trying to take it seriously, well as serious as they can. Police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko says:

I’m tempted to say it’s one huge joke,” Oleko said.

But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’,

Exactly Guys! Can’t you just be having a bad day? Or just gone swimming? Is your dick SO great that someone had to put a spell on it? Alright, so you’ve had your penis stolen and are basically now just a human Ken doll. Unfortunately the article doesn’t mention how to get it back. For that, I would talk to John and Lorena Bobbit.

I love Wednesdays.

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital. {Reuters}

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  • Mahogs

    I’m sorry, but this mannequin photo is hilarious.