Never Can Say Goodbye

Now I know this may surprise some of my loyal readers but—I have a thing for strippers (or should I say strippers have a thing for me). It’s like apple pie and ice cream, we just go so perfectly together (lol). Now I’m not saying my attraction to these types of relationships isn’t without its drawbacks. There are always going to be certain intangibles you miss and issues that you encounter with a stripper that you wouldn’t with a regular chick. For example, I pretty much expect her to sleep with other men, and I can’t exactly get mad when I see her pandering to another man (It’s work!). On the flip side, she can’t really trip about me talking to other women either.

The problem always starts when the stripper decides that she wants a serious relationship. She’s ready to stop tricking off, and really wants to be wife’d down. Now in Atlanta, most people have their late night specials that come over after the club. Some dudes pay for the company while others are able to string their companion along with the hope of a big pay off, i.e. a car, house or the ultimate…being taken out the club. Nine out of ten times the big pay off never happens. She’s left with another story to tell and if she’s lucky a Gucci bag. No man ever thinks of actually making the stripper the main girl; no matter how bad, how cool, or how good the sex is. This brings me to the story of Tasty.

When I met Tasty it was right after she made the transition from waitress to dancer, and it was through a mutual friend (she said he never hit, he said he did). She had been dancing less than a month and it showed (her moves weren’t together yet). We began as friends and she even hooked me up with some of her friends from the strip club. The whole time I kind of knew that she wanted more but my homeboy saying that he’d slept with her first was enough to keep me away. Around this time I was in and out of town a lot but whenever I was home, I threw a couple of dollars her way.

Soon we started really chilling regularly and she told me her intentions. When I told her my reasons (see above), she denied them categorically, offered to call my homeboy and put him on blast. Soon I relented and we began having sex. From the start, she was constantly under me and sometimes days passed before she left my house. During this period, I was still openly dealing with other woman because since Tasty and I were just friends, I could do what I damn well pleased. And of all the chicks I was seeing, there was one young lady in particular that I’d crowned most special and Tasty knew that girl wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

My dating pattern continued until the fall when my main chick started to loose her place and Tasty finally had a chance to be No.1. Unfortunately she was also caught up doing stupid shit (to my surprise) and the order stayed the same—well almost. I caught her doing dirt and cut Tasty off for almost two months. The only thing that saved her was the begging every time I came to her club.

Once she was back on my team, we picked up where we left off, except now I had a valid reason to keep her at bay (and she knew it). Tasty had to openly accept my relationships with other women because she was just happy to be back in the fold. Every now and again, I would speak of leaving my main girl alone, but each time I did, the news just served as a let down because she’d just start asking questions about the other women. When this happened I just ended the conversation and politely reminded her that it was none of her business (she had no choice but to agree).

Things started to get so good with my main that I made plans to move in with her (it never happened). Again Tasty was hurt but because of her earlier discretions she was forced to take it all in stride. I didn’t like hurting her. But she knew all about my other women and was cool with playing her piece in the puzzle, so I was cool with her being cool with it.

Still, the hardest thing for me to fathom was how Tasty could allow herself to just get played like that. I’ve dealt with chicks that had boyfriends before, but I was getting what I wanted without involving my feelings. In Tasty’s case, not only was she in love with me, but she was also well aware that I was in love with somebody else. To my discredit, I definitely said some things that made her feel like we had a real connection (because I felt like we did), but I was brutally honest and gave her every opportunity to leave me and go find the right one for her.

The final straw came one day when we were on the phone and she kept asking questions about No.1. I don’t know if it was my conscience, the fact that I was ready to settle down, or her annoying questions, but I just told her to leave me alone once and for all. For the next week I didn’t answer any of her calls and it was another two weeks before I stepped foot in her job/strip club. When I arrived, she ran up on me and started to cry about how she missed me and didn’t know why I fell back. After about 30 minutes of dialogue, I told her we couldn’t be friends during this time and I left (with her still wondering why). The next day she blew my phone up from around 8 a.m. until I finally picked up at around 11 p.m. When we spoke I reiterated everything I had said the night before except this time I wasn’t as nice. The conversation ended with her agreeing to give me space as long as I agreed to think about starting over with her in the future. I agreed because, though I had no real intentions of getting back in that boat, I was willing to tell her whatever she needed to hear to leave me alone.

Almost a year and a half later I still haven’t had more than a 10 minute conversation with Tasty and when I see her, that club life seems to be getting to her. My only regret is that I lost a really good friend over our short-lived situation.

-Southern Gentleman

If you like Southern Gentleman, check out the rest of his exploits here.

Last 5 posts by Parlour

  • Was there a point to this story?