When I was a college freshman, the guys on my dorm floor would always call me a dude because I could sit and chat with them for hours about the latest hip-hop albums and why I loved them so much. Meanwhile the other girls on our floor were busy devouring Nelly Furtado’s debut record Whoa! Nelly (and I’m not a self-professed “one of the guys” kind of girl). So, naturally, being the hip hop head that I was, whenever my bros talked about songs they liked to listen to while having sex with their girlfriends, I always suggested hip hop joints—at such moments they attacked me for choosing Jay Z over Jon B. Given their response, I never tried to knock boots to any of my hip hop favorites myself (Besides, I’m not really a “set the mood” type-a-gal anyway, having music always seems to come as an afterthought).

While it’s not so important for me to bump and grind to LL Cool J’s “Back Seat” anymore, I thought it would be fun to ease into the weekend with my top five hip hop songs (in no particular order) that at some time or another I really, really wanted include in my freakiness. Don’t be shocked. Some of these songs were released before I even knew about our vagina’s parts but they kind of made an impression on me and I remembered them once I figured out the real purpose of my g-spot.

So without much fuss, here are My Top 5 Hip Hop Hook-Up Hits:

“Pink Cookies in a Plastic Bag Getting Crushed by Buildings” by LL Cool J

I love the abstractness of this song. I first heard “Pink Cookies” when I was 10. My older brother played it all the time when he picked me up from school. I remember sitting in the back seat of his car and imagining two actual pink cookies in a zip-loc baggie falling out of the window of a super high-rise building (for some reason they fell from the building instead of getting crushed by it). But even then, I gathered that sex was involved and so I perked up and stored it in the vault for a day when I knew it would be useful.

Fave Line: “All I wanna do is make whoopie on my pink cookie not a rookie when you take ‘em off I’d love a lookie…”

“Oochie Wally” by Bravehearts feat. Nas

OK don’t judge me for this one. This song is just plain nasty and it makes no apologies whatsoever for its nastiness. The explicitness is what really turned me on. Even though I would never want to be tossed around from hip hop crew member to crew member, I guess it’s OK to think about it happening to someone else.

Fave Line: “Little young thing go around my d*** with your tongue ring”

“Bonnie & Shyne” by Shyne feat. Barrington Levy

Homegirl was OBSESSED with Shyne for a minute. First semester of my freshman year in college, Shyne would go to sleep with me every night. I drew hearts all over the CD that my sister’s best friend burned for me. I had it bad, girlfriend. This song is more about a relationship than just sex, but there’s one verse with a few good lines, like, “Get up on the hood ma, I ain’t done yet!” And to think I almost forgot about this one. Sigh.

Fave Line: “Treat you like a convenient store, stick you up…”

“I Can Tell” by 504 Boys

This song was not my favorite tune when I first heard it as a HS junior. It made me giggle a lot and I wasn’t into the whole southern hip hop movement at the time (with the exception of the Dungeon Family) and Master P’s crew was at the bottom of my list. But slowly, this raunchy little tune crept its way into my heart. Even though I still think I would crack up mid-coitus, it would be worth it.

Fave Line: “I’ll do my oral exercises right between your thighs…”

“Sweet Love” by Method Man Feat. Cappadona and Street Life

I was a sophomore in high school when I heard this song. I was still coming off of my high from the Wu-Tang Forever record when Method Man released Tical 2000: Judgement Day and I was glued to my disc-man. I had the biggest celeb-crush on Meth, so I would have listened to anything he said, but this one has stuck as my all-time-favorite song for sex since then. There’s something so brazen about the Wu-Tang Clan that I find attractive. Nothing is sugar coated and nothing is overly explicit. It just is how it is. Perfect example—in one of my favorite lines, Cappadona says, “Sweet love, I want your p***y, can I be your man?” If only it were that simple my friend.

Fave Line: “No doubt, you got the best trout there could be. Not an everyday av-er-age chicken of the sea…”

Other Great Hip Hop Hits for Gettin’ in On:
“Break You Off” by The Roots
“Spread” by Outkast (Andre 3000 Speakerboxx/Love Below)
“Ice Cream” by Raekwon feat. Ghostface Killah, Cappadona & Method Man
“Get Me Home” by Foxy Brown feat. Black Street
“Back Seat” by LL Cool J
“Nasty Boy” by Notorious B.I.G.

OK, I told you mine, now you tell me yours? Do you have any favorite hip hop (or otherwise) hits that you like (or want) to hit the skins to? Hit me up ladies.

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