…Says the Single Girl: 3 Ways to Win/Keep a Man

There are thousands of books, websites and experts who all spew crap about how to make relationships work, what a man and woman should do…it’s not that deep. Ladies, if you are single, looking for love, in love, have a long term relationship that is kinda on the rocks, or want to seal the deal and get that ring on your finger…take notes.
1. Sex

Do it often, make it good, spice it up and do everything at least once…yes, EVERYTHING. If you got in the game sucking, licking, plucking, teasing and pleasing but one year later you are always on your back looking up at the ceiling like Celie in The Color Purple, your man is going to lose interest and look elsewhere. All of this “I don’t do that…” will be your demise. If you talked a good game about how you got that crack in your crotch and he’ll be sprung, you should be able to deliver. Now, it’s not about giving it to him whenever he wants like some hooker. It’s about being able to take the driver’s seat and spring it on him in a way he’d never see coming.

• Go to his house in a trench coat with nothing on underneath but some killer heels and keep the shoes on during sex.

• Suggest a video camera, record, watch right after and erase

• Get on them knees and rock the mic when he’s just chilling on the couch watching the game. When you’re done swallow and before walking off say, “I’ll let you finish the game.” (**zing** lol!- Steely D)

• Learn how to ride. Men get tired of being on top all the time.

These are just tips, some extreme, some realistic. You get the point.

2. Home Cooking

Now I was going to say “food” but that is too vague. Girl, get in that kitchen and cook a hot meal. No microwave, no frozen dinner, no canned food either. Don’t slave in the kitchen for hours. Go to Barnes & Noble and get a Rachel Ray 30 Minute Meals cookbook and whip up a well balanced dinner: meat/protein, starch, veggie. No, it doesn’t have to be every night, once or twice is good enough (if you aren’t married or don’t have kids). Ladies, you don’t know how sexy men think walking in and seeing a woman from the back standing at the counter stirring something up. It drives them wild. It’s that mommy/nurturing complex. Cooking exemplifies how much you care about his, and your, well-being, strength and body. Believe it or not, it is a sign of love.

3. Take Care of a House

This may seem broad but, really, it means keep a clean house. There is nothing more disgusting than a nasty ass woman. This means dishes in the sink, crusty panties balled in the corner, magazines everywhere. Men notice everything—that snotty tissue that missed the garbage can?— everything. Most won’t say anything but they are taking notes. We on the other hand will walk in their house and let it be known, “This place is a mess!” but they don’t care because they know when they get married or move in with a woman, she isn’t going to let the house get that bad. Ladies if you plan on moving in with a man be prepared to be somewhat of an interior designer and the woman of the house.

* Honorable Mention – Conversation / Intelligence

When I ran this list down to a man friend of mine he agreed 100% but told me that he needs a woman with whom he can have a conversation. I thought that was implied but he assured me that it needed to be said. If your mate is in the world of business, you should know something about the world of business, read WSJ.com or the NY Times, have an educated opinion on politics, sports, etc. Challenge him on his views and don’t give up so easily. Men like to know they are with someone that can make them stop and think. Another man friend told me that when he is meeting this one woman for drinks and dinner, he brings a post-it note and pen because she always hits him with something during conversation that he wants to go back and research.

I know folks are going to get on here and blast this list as a traditional, rigid way of women being second-class to men and not every man wants this blah, blah, blah. Look at this list as a foundation, a skeleton that you can build on any way that you want. However, try having a relationship where after bad boring sex, you heat up Chinese food leftovers that you two eat out the box ’cause all your dishes are piled up in the sink and see how long he sticks around.

—Says the Single Girl

Like Says the Single Girl? Bravely read the rest of her dating tips here.

Last 5 posts by The Single Girl

  • and let the church say Amen…..

    Good Job. i might have to read this blog more often if this kind of truth is being told on a regular basis.

  • Moochie

    I can hella dig it…

  • New Era

    I concur! You took’em to church this week. However, there is one essential trait that we have to see in a woman (significant other)– she’s got to have her own! Peep Ne-Yo “She Got Her Own” featuring Jamie Foxx & Fabolous off that “Year Of The Gentleman.”

  • Keeks

    Hmmm… now to find someone I’m willing to do this for.

  • Be Mocke

    She’s not only the client, she’s the “How-to-Keep’m” president (even though she’s single) …

  • DT

    I agree with everything. Yes, the list seems to hit on some traditional points such as cooking and cleaning. However, many women (not all) believe that having a sense tradition jeopardizes their role as an independent woman. This is definitely not the case. Most guys…well, at least I don’t want a woman waiting on me hand and foot. However, I do want a lady that loves to take care of me just as I would love taking care of her (with certain exception…see New Era’s comment).

    My favorite quote is “Men like to know they are with someone that can make them stop and think.” There are a lot of dumb ass chicks out there! TOO DAMN MANY!!!

  • Enojav

    Although this is a bit misleading. Because as a woman, you can bring all of this to the table and more, but if HE doesn’t want it, you won’t win or keep him.
    I know women, such as myself, who has all of these qualities, but if the man isn’t ready for all of this, nor does he want all that comes with this, it’ll all be pointless.

    Also, sex is NOT going to keep a man. Because after he nuts what else does he have to share with you. Although it is needed in order to sustain a relationship, the order isn’t correct. Maybe for a BOY, but not for a MAN.

    Great ideas shared though.

  • RaffBk

    Not bad…

  • KBH

    Round of applause for the all around perfect woman! She cooks delicious meals, keeps the house spotless, has continuous toe curling sex including amazing oral. She never gains weight, keeps her hair and nails perfect and never sleeps with a scarf all this while working full time, paying all the bills, earning a doctorate and taking care of the kids while her man is faithfully well kept at home playing Madden and watching Sports Center.