They say that most abusive behavior is learned. So if I saw my pops hit my mom, I would in turn grow to abuse my wife. I’ve always written most of that of as bullshit, as I rarely subscribe to absolutes. However I do believe that after suffering abuse in her first marriage that my mother grew strong, so by the time she got with my dad, there was no way she was gonna put up with that shit. In turn I learned to pick a strong woman for my wife. I’ve always been attracted to the girly, super-feminine type, but I never got it confused with a woman that would take my bullshit.
The one-time that I did have the urge to slap the taste out of an ex-girlfriend’s mouth, I just broke up with her and walked away on the spot, never spoke to her again. Granted I was 16 and didn’t know much, but I did know that if shorty was foul enough for me to want to slap her, I probably shouldn’t be with her anyway. Still it’s amazing to me how many of our male friends abuse their woman, and how many of our female friends are abused. Another one of my ex-girlfriends, who I still remain good friends with today was in an abusive relationship and when she told me I damn near cried. Shorty was hood as hell, a sweetheart yes, but damn could she get down. She definitely wasn’t a punk and I just couldn’t see how she allowed this dude to have that power over her.
It took her a minute to actually leave dude, but she eventually did and I just tried to be there for her with positive advice, but never being to judgemental. It’s been about two years and I still don’t think babygirl has completely recovered. I’m not sure if she ever will. Even in my mom, I still find her at times unable to trust anyone, or feel completely safe even in her own home.
If you remember at the beginning of last week’s post, we started out in the barber shop, just a couple of dudes talking shit. While most of us in the shop agreed that hitting a woman was wrong, at least two of the cats admitted to hitting their girls (and I’m willing to bet another one or two of ’em did and were just afraid to admit it). Alls I’m saying is that I feel bad for the woman that’s waiting for them at home.
-Al â€œBrooklynâ€ Bundy
Want more Bundy? Check out his previous posts here.
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