…Says the Single Girl: What Ever Happened to Slow Jam Mixtapes?

There was this boy I adored in high school. Lord, I was smitten, in lust. You name it; I felt it. Each night I would lie in bed and listen to the slow jam show on the radio, letting the songs carry me to sleep as I dreamt about him touching on my pubescent body. I wanted to make the kind of love Brian McKnight crooned about. Feel his nature rise. Call his name. With time, I would find myself in those very real life moments, usually accompanied by a slow jams tape (yes, TAPE) usually dubbed from the radio. It was the perfect mood music for knocking boots.

Why am I am recalling my younger sex life now, you ask?

Well, I didn’t realize how much I missed bed music until I caught myself getting it on to …The Carter 3 (excuse me Tha Carter III)…in my own house…and yes, it was my CD!

People, what have we come to?

Where are the R&B love songs? Songs that boys would mouth the words to, exemplifying how much they cared? I’m talking about the songs a guy would keep a tape in his boombox cued to press “Record” so when the radio happened to play it he grabbed that…and could later present you with a mixtape bearing the handwritten label: The [Insert Your Name Here] Love Mix!

Aww…I miss those days. Especially in college when you first started to explore your freedom. The roommate would be out late (’cause you planned it that way). The lights were off. Maybe a candle was lit if you were into that romantic shit and could afford it on your work study budget. Incense burning. And playing would be songs like:

R. Kelly – Baby, Baby, Baby

Dru Hill – Beauty

Maxwell – This Woman’s Work

Tracie Spencer – Tender Kisses

Intro – Ribbon in the Sky

Jodeci – U and I

Janet Jackson – Anytime, Anyplace

Boyz II Men – Uhh Ahh

Tevin Campbell – Shhh

R. Kelly – The Greatest Sex

Tony Toni Tone – Anniversary (Extended)

I asked some of my friends about the lack of music during those intimate times and was saddened by what I was told:

“I don’t need music.” – man

“I feel like sex just happens and who wants to wait for someone to put on music?” – woman

“I’ll fuck to anything; slow jam, commercial on TV, my cell phone ringing.” – of course a man

Herein lies the problem. We no longer make sex an event. It just happens. Fuck that, I want a man to be like, “Single Girl, I made this play list just for you!” I’d be all over him like Amy Winehouse on a crack pipe.

PS…I know there are tons of songs that I could have included but what do you think your comments are for?

— Says the Single Girl

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(Check out one of our favorite posts, “Hip Hop Songs That Get The Skins“)

Last 5 posts by The Single Girl

  • It’s funny you say this “SG”. I feel the same way. I talk to many of my female friends and many of them are the ones who just want to be intimate to the rhythm of their own breathing. To each is own. But to those who are like myself and like a little rhythmic assistance, yours truly DJ CEO has an answer. I currently have a mixtape out entitled Do Not Disturb Vol.1: The Red Light Special. you can order it from http://djceo.bigcartel.com. Also the link I provided above has a sample of the CD on it.

  • must include johnny gill’s MY, MY, MY. in high school a boyfriend & i cut school and had this playing in the background. he even sang along with the tape. *sigh* those were the days.

  • Oh and I’m sorry, thgouth the URI would be included in my post. Here is the link for the sample.

  • rakia

    Why am I in my office JAMMING to ‘Tender Kisses’ right now? This used to be my song!!!!!

  • rakia

    Oh, and I would add ‘Breaking My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes)’ by Mint Condition. From the very first note, I’m done.

  • Guywithglasses

    you should try

    Ain’t no mixtape without some al green, vikter duplaix, or bilal

  • jbaker

    Kissing You by Faith Evans (Waiting to Exhale Soundtrack)…i still have to fight myself from having a mental picture of her and Biggie, but it’s worth is when she hits the bridge “Through the niiiiiight, I feeeeeel your fiiiiire!!”

  • Story of my Life

    I love Tender Kisses also…funny enough i was just thinking about this the other night when my friend had a “Make Love to Me” playlist on his IPOD…it was perfect…best sex i had in a while…Music is essential especially when it isn’t a quickie…

  • jayday

    Oh, my gosh! You’ve been missing out. I’m still all about a slow jam sex mix. (Playlist, not tape these days). You also have to add Blackstreet before I let you go and R.Kelly It Seems Like You’re Ready.

    When we first met, my former boyfriend and I agreed to wait a bit before we had sex. In the meantime we had the most fun crafting a playlist we planned to use when we finally did the deed. I’d sit on his lap and we’d laugh as we selected songs.

    After we broke up, I used it when I slept with another guy as my private revenge. LOL.

  • LadyDay

    I remember when I was in high school this guy made me a slow jam tape and it had Joy on it …I loved that tape ;-D

  • ITUNES happend

  • B.O.T.Y!!!!

    The music is for the romance side of things, ain’t no need for no R.kelly cd if you a jo, shit i might be a jo to her and just want me to buss her chops. When we were in highschool with our highschool sweetheart everything was nice and innocent, i played music cause my dirty talk game wasn’t up to par, I wasn’t asking if “daddy dick feel good don’t it” at 16, so music took the place. now, good dirty talk is wasup lol, and maybe so hov or something…..jk

  • B.O.T.Y!!!!

    oh, mary j blige, my life album, in highschool, yeah that got it done for me and my lady, donelle jones in college “where i wanna be”, carl thomas “i wish album”, and if i really liked you may put on the fire and desire by the super freak himself and tina marie….

  • La Dolce Vida

    oh, it isn’t just over for your generation. trust…
    when I was really little I always used to be so excited to finally become a teenager so all that romance would proceed..
    here I am on the brink of my twentieth b-day.. low and behold:
    It never did. welcome to the 21st century =\
    People just don’t have time to care the way they used to..
    isn’t that why people do the no strings attached hook up thing anyways? *side eye*