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The Best of the Worst Hip-Hop Videos of 2008 (sigh.)

We Parlouristas like, no, we LOVE hip-hop, in all of its manifestations and languages. So putting this list together was bittersweet and in some respects—down right painful. We could have done a “Best Of…” list, but doesn’t everyone else do that? Besides, we don’t have any favors to pay back (yeah, we said it). We even got a little help from our friends. So, without further delay, let’s get into the Best of the Worst Hip-Hop Videos of 2008, starting with our friend, Mr. Algernod Washington:

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No. 5) PLIES – Put It on Ya

I love me some Plies, but this song is NO “Ms. Pretty Pussy”– it’s not even a poor man’s “Shawty!” I can’t with the cliche rhymes and pandering lyrics, and his outfit? What’s going on with all the colors Algernod!?! Everytime I see you around NYC, you’re wearing a solid colored thermal but this hoodie? It. is. absolutely. awful. Like, I’m really upset with whomever chose all of these ridiculous patterns. Why, oh why Algernod?

– Steely D

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No. 4) VIC – Get Silly

Get Silly? How about Get Coony?? Even better, Get Corny. 2008 must have been the year when boys and men engaged in some of the worst dancing ever. In what strip mall was this shot in? Sorry VIC, you gets no love from the fam for clearly spending money in all of the wrong places when the first investment should have been a writing coach…and then a better director, and stylist…and orthodontist…need we say more?

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No. 3) BUSTA RHYMES – Arab Money

Since Dubai’s become the talk of the biggest ballers, ailing rapper Busta Rhymes figured he’d attempt to cash in on the hype by releasing a video that’s equally as stupid with the volume on or off. In addition to the song being just plain ignorant, it also shows that Busta is a straight up liar.

If he really was getting “Arab Money,” then he’d have enough dough to hire a real video director instead of settling for Rik Codero, aka the poor man’s Hype Williams.

Cordero’s dated 300-esque treatment coupled with a bunch of trappers doing a dance that looks like they’re giving double handjobs is further proof that while hip-hop isn’t dead, it is wack.

Satchel

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No. 2) T-BABY – It’s So Cold In The D

Really? Do we have to say why? The only reason why it’s not at No.1 is because it comes from a real place, in a very real city, with a very real violence problem. Besides, they had Pimpin’ Kwame as their mayor until recently, so T-Baby and her crew get a pass. But just this once.

*it’s still hella funny though, the off-beat, off-key-ness is ALMOST as good as Kanye’s SNL performance-Steely*

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No. 1) JIM JONES/RON BROWZ – Pop Champagne

You know it’s bad when you see a video and think it’s a spoof from Saturday Night Live.
This video has EVERYTHING! Champagne, Pen & Pixel era-like animation and…wait for it…body paint!

You can’t expect much from a song called “Pop Champagne”, but aren’t there are enough Hype Williams videos out there for the Harlem crew to learn from, rather than staging what looks like the world’s dullest VIP room at Marquee. At least it would earn an “E” for effort.

Aside from grown men pouring champagne on each other (did Dame not teach you anything?), this coonfest visual plea of “look I got me some money” excess is just simply bad. Even the “let’s play Westside dressup” “Certified Gangstas” video was better! Note to the director, watch this and then get back to work.

To make matters worse, they paid $200K for this. Someone needs to put the camera down. Now.

-JBaker

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Dishonorable Mentions:

“Bust It Baby” reality show auditions: We initially thought this was a joke, but quickly realized that it wasn’t…and we were sad.

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Nas “We Make The World Go Round”- good song, cliche Hype Williams circa 1998 video. SMH.

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With a dose of originality, creativity, and intelligence, all of the videos could have been great.
What are your favorite BAD vides from 2008?

Last 5 posts by Parlour

  • Ricki

    Does number 2 really count tho? LOL I know it’s terrible, but does that absolutely fall under any genre of music?

  • Moochie

    ha..ha..hahahahahahahaha….

  • Jones! Seriously, “Pop Champagne” could have a minute-by-minute breakdown of why it’s so terrible. It’s in a different category than worse video. Harlem…what are you doing??!

  • Pop Champagne looks like “homies over hoes” from Gangstalicious! & I am very saddened by the tryouts…. if for nothing else… the Real shorties are at least 50 lbs nastier than their predecessors… the video “hoes” now it’s just the back alley, bullet scar strippers from hell….. hip hop ain’t dead or whack… it’s scary.

  • Nyoka

    HILARIOUS!!!

    I will say that “It’s So Cold in the D” had me going even when the weather was warm..

    Good laugh..thanks!

  • tjj597

    Nelly’s “steppin’ on my Jays” didn’t make this list…go figure? It’s a god awful song.

  • i refuse. seriously, I haven’t seen or heard any of these songs JUST because I detest the artists names. i mean, i heard the jim jones track but i honestly can’t see myself wasting precious moments of my life on this mess. lol. wow, for a lady who is currently pms’ing i went kinda soft on these baffoons!

  • jay

    “witless and infuriating”. I mean, all this money should have just been donated to the UNCF.

  • Aleem

    Oh man..hahah – The Busta breakdown is so accurate. I recently saw dude and was really tempted to simply ask how he went from working with Dilla to releasing shit like Arab Money.

    Also – the original release of the song says “Eh-Rab” while the video says “Ah-Rab”. I’m sure Busta felt like his song was much more acceptable after that change…

  • JTG

    Your list is on point. ’08 (and all years prior) was plagued with bad videos. You may have to extend your honorable mention list to include Weezy’s “Mrs Officer / Comfortable”, Nas “Hero”, Game “Camera Phone”, Trina “Single Again” (i think that was this year), anything Lil Boosie did… my head hurts 🙁

    Wouldn’t it have just been easier to do a “best of…” list since it’s sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo short? Ha!