/

Troy Polamalu has the BEST. HAIR. EVER.


Being a female sports fan oftentimes gives me a little different perspective on the games I watch. While I notice the normal things-stat related, great plays and players, strategy and whatnot; there is an added dimension to my fandom.
.
I noticed it again during the Ravens/Steelers game this week. Yes-the Ravens got “Hochuli’d” on that Holmes “touchdown,” but what I found myself noticing more than anything else was the fabulousness that is Troy Polamalu’s hair.
.
This was supposed to be a blog on my third favorite player in the league, and why he’s so great. I have an affinity for DB’s. I think its the best position on a team, and he is one of, if not the best in the league right now. He’s yet another player cut from the Ronnie Lott, beat your face in mold. I could go on and on about his skills. The speed, the sick hits, the ball hawking, et cetera and so on, but, I’ll be honest here, that’s not what I was looking at.

I was looking at the perfect, uniform, ringlets on his head and thinking this guy should shave his head and make me a wig. The worst part about it? He’s a guy! He probably doesn’t even appreciate just how spectacular his hair is. Its perfect. The curl pattern is uniform, the length is ideal. It looks as if there is minimal effort involved in styling.

When it blows in the wind, women everywhere reach up to their own heads and pull back a disappointed hand. It probably doesn’t look as perfect as his. There is no frizz. None. Not on opening day in the heat, not in the bitter cold at home in December.

When he picked off Phillip Rivers the other week for that non-existent touchdown, those perfect ringlets bounced all the way into the end zone and came to a frizz free rest, as if there is a personal stylist who is invisible to the rest of us keeping it together.

When he comes in on safety blitzes, or is going step for step with a receiver, I sometimes miss actual tackle, because I’m more fascinated by the hair. I know I’m not alone. I’m sure there have been women who have gone into their weavologist and said “I want hair like this” and produced a stock photo of Troy Polamalu.

I know, I know. Troy Polamalu is not his hair. We probably wouldn’t know his name if he wasn’t one of the best in the game. That he has the best hair in the NFL is secondary, however obvious it is to all the ladies watching, but damn. Can I live? Can I get one of these sideline chicks to at least find out what he’s using? The lady wants to know.

-Terita

Like Terita’s take on sports? Tired of people assuming that women aren’t die hard sports fans? Or maybe you’re using this column to make sure your bf’s weekly sports obsession doesn’t completely put you to sleep and you can make conversation? Either way, read the rest of Terita’s sportie run down here.

Last 5 posts by Sportie

  • Courtney

    Yeah…My last weave was a mini Polamalu. It’s so beautiful, even Houshman had to touch it.

  • krankin

    Girl! You’re not the only one. It’s a thing of beauty.

  • Veruca Salt

    I’m so late in reading this but once again you have slayed me!!! Love your writing and most of all I LOVE ME SOME TROY!!!