New Year, Same B.S.

Happy New Year, ya’ll. It’s been an interesting few weeks in the Bundy household, amongst all the general holiday stress; the wife and I have been “going through it.” Nah, no broken dishes or obscene arguments. We just don’t get down like that, but shit has been problematic.

If you’ve read my blogs before then you know that our main problem has been a lack of intimacy. Well Mrs. Bundy hasn’t been in the mood since right around Thanksgiving and Mr. Bundy IS too goddamn proud to beg. So instead, I do other things to compensate for the lack of loving, like playing Xbox 360 ‘til the wee hours of the morning. The drought finally ended on New Year’s Eve and it was great, which is why I don’t understand why she doesn’t want it because the sex is generally good (even she hasn’t been able to deny that—unless she is lying to me). But last night the plot thickened when we were laying in bed and the wife asked, “Have you ever cheated on me?”

I pretended I didn’t know where the question came from, but I knew. Basically I had nothing to hide or lie about so I answered “No, never.” She follows up with, “Well have you ever had the chance?” This question was a bit trickier, but I tried to answer as honest as I could, “I guess I’ve had the chance before, but I never cheated.” The truth is, I have had the chance, and I didn’t have to “guess.” I wonder if she expects me to cheat on her or if she feels like she sorta deserves it; I’m not exactly sure. In any circumstance that’s a difficult question to answer, but I tried to give the best, most complete answer I could.

It’s not the fact that we’re not having much sex that bothers me; it’s the fact that I don’t know why. So I turn and ask her, “Why don’t you want me anymore?” She simply said, “I dunno.” She promised me that things would get better, but I know that is just wishful thinking; things will not get better because we aren’t doing anything to make it better. I’m afraid of the truth I won’t lie. If we do things to try to make it better and really start to dig into the inner workings of our relationship, we may just come to the conclusion that we are better off apart. Then the kids come into play. I would want custody of my kids, fuck that; but then how can I take them from their mother (like the courts would allow that anyway), but then how can I live without my kids. Either way we lose!

-Al “Brooklyn” Bundy

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Last 5 posts by Bundy

  • ummm, are you up to rethinking the marriage counseling? i think you should. i agree with your assessment of your wife’s question. she probably knows that things have been off and wonders why the other shoe hasn’t dropped yet. she may be so caught up in whatever she’s going through that when she does get to thinking about what you’re not getting, she gets stuck in a guilt cycle. guilt becomes indignation and thus the question. by the way, happy new year. sorry to hear about the same bs.

  • RaffBk

    Sorry to hear what’s going on. But just to offer some help/advice…. keep in mind i’m no marriage counselor but I’ll play one now. Solely based on what I’m hearing (or have read), she might be experiencing a bit of insecurity. I’ve only been married for less than two years, but based on my past long-term relationships, women begin to question the state of a relationship the longer they are in it. Whether its expressed verbally or non-verbally, questions arise… “I’m I getting fat?”, “Is he cheating?” “Does he not find me attractive anymore..?” And if you have female friends.. forget it! the insecurity factor doubles. Perhaps she needs more validation about where you are as a couple…. (and yes, that could take forever. Woman talk about men, but I say women are equally if not more insecure). I say the first place to start is with the direct, God honest truth about how you feel about the relationship including the sex. then see if its something you can fix on your own, if not i hope your insurance plan covers counseling, cuz they can rape a dude’s wallet.

  • Bundy

    Haha word Raff that counseling cost won’t be cheap. And Asha I have thought about the counseling, still thinking about it.

    Thanks for the advice ya’ll- I will keep u posted.

  • This is just generally fucked up. But it sounds like you two just need to have a long, long talk and sort things out. It’s not going to be easy, but communication is key. Good luck.