There are certain questions that once you’ve reached a certain age you have no business asking someone you are interested in dating. Questions like:
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â How many people have you slept with?
-Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â When was the last time you had sex?
You shouldn’t be asking these questions because you know no matter how much the person you ask likes you and vice versa they aren’t going to tell you the truth. Even if they do you won’t believe them. The real question is why you would set yourself up for failure by asking these in the first place.
The main reason why people ask these questions during the interview stage of a courtship (between date #0 and #3) is to figure out where they stand. Please know, these questions have less to do with actual body counts and more to do with your insecurities.
You don’t really want to know how many people someone has slept with. The truth is you want to know how many sexual partners they have to compare you with. Will you be the best they’ve ever had?
You don’t care if they are a slut, you care if there is a chance they’ve slept with anyone you know. By the way, your body count doesn’t make you a slut; the quality of people you sleep with and how you carry yourself is what makes you one.
As for question #2, this is one of the dumbest things people ask.
If you slept with someone two hours ago that has no bearing on what we have going.
Women will date a guy who’s slept with someone the day before their date, not understanding that the business of his dick and the business of his brain are separate and not equal. He could have just fucked her, but he is taking you out. Women don’t value this. They look at the action of sex and think “If you sleeping with her, why are you in my face? Go take that bitch out!”
Men care whether the chick they are digging is getting knocked down cause they want to knock it down themselves. They become slightly envious of the phantom man they think is getting the draws (yes, I said drawers, it’s better than snatch or box or cut up, for my southern folks). They don’t want to accept any woman they have interest in having a sex life prior to them. If a man asks you the last time you had sex, they’re really asking “How long do I have to wait to have sex with you?” Depending on your answer they will act accordingly.
“I haven’t had sex in a while.”
He’s thinking: Ok, she’s either a hold out or on a dry spell. Either way I should be able to knock if down if I show her lots of attention and play it like a want something more serious.
“A couple weeks ago.”
He’s thinking: She’s a free bird. Perhaps she’ll be down for a no strings attached scenario.
“Well, I don’t believe in having sex too soon.”
He’s thinking: Oh here we go. She’s playing the good girl, make me wait role. I’ll only deal with this if I really, really am feeling her.
Would you seriously stop dating someone if they told you that they’ve slept with over 50 people and just had sex two days ago?
Why do we continue to ask these questions when we know we never get the real answer?
To make ourselves feel better.
By the way, try asking me these questions and I’ll tell you the truth:
“That’s none of your business.”
…Says the Single Girl
Bravely read the rest of her dating tipsÂ for Parlouristas here. Do you have a story to tell or a question for Single Girl? You can reach her directly at SingleGirlNotes@gmail.com. Donâ€™t be shy!
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