Your “type” could get you into trouble, or keep you from getting into a relationship, as it were. You’ve probably overlooked a lot of good guys because they weren’t wrapped up in a tall package with a dark and handsome bow on top.Â But how can you know you don’t have chemistry with a guy if you write him off for not immediately setting your loins aflame or for having ugly shoes? Chemistry doesn’t always happen at first sight; sometimes a connection is established after a few conversations or a shared experience. The truth is, the guy who’s right for you may not look the way you imagine or come with the credentials you expect.Â If you learn to focus on the things that really matter, you’ll find Mr. Right sooner than you think.
Ladies! I am certain that BeyoncÃ© did not fall in love with Jay-Z because of his smoldering looks and chiseled physique. She probably had to get to know him before she realized they had a connection. Some of the things that may turn you off at first can even become charming once you begin to care about a guy, you could grow to love his big ears and skinny legs. You’ve got to be attracted to your guy, but real, long-lasting attraction is built upon so much more than physical appearance. If you meet a nice guy who looks decent (especially one who comes with a recommendation), give him a chance.Â I’m not suggesting that you should date a guy who repulses you, but looks aren’t everything.
Still, there are some shortcomings for which you should not settle when it comes to dating: selfishness, a criminal record, and unemployment that outlasts the recession. Clothing issues, however, can be easily amended. Don’t let a pair of cargo jeans steer you away from Mr. Right. Once you’ve determined he’s worth the effort, go shopping with your guy, ask him to try on a few things for you, and show him how much tailored shirts turn you on.Â He’ll be willing to compromise. Trust me.
Some of you may be missing out on Mr. Right because of unresolved gold-digging issues. While a good guy always works hard, he might not earn six figures while doing it and if he doesn’t earn six figures, he might drive a “sensible car” which makes him sensible – not cheap. It’s okay to want a guy who can provide for his family (if you two make it that far) but if you’re looking to live like “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” or Orange County, you might have to settle for Mr. “I ignore my wife but I buy her diamonds” to get there.
Every woman has a “list.” Maybe it’s in your head, or maybe you wrote it down in your diary. Either way, it’s time to reevaluate the contents. You don’t want to pass up the right guy because you’re hung up on the wrong things. Do yourself a favor this month and try going on a few dates with a good guy who isn’t your usual “type.” As for the “list,” try bumping “affectionate,” “giving,” and “good communicator” to the top. “Must look like Boris Kodjoe” and “must drive fancy car” can get the ax.
Want to know what else is on this married ladyâ€™s mind? Check the rest of her posts here.
Last 5 posts by Hitched Chick
- Check Yourself - November 30th, 2009
- Stop Asking Your Single Girls for Advice - July 27th, 2009
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- Play in Your League - July 6th, 2009
- "Help Me Hitched Chick: Guy to Keep or Online Creep?" - June 22nd, 2009