Sex Drive: We’re All Bi

SF Gate‘s Sex Columnist Violet Blue recently wrote a column called “Bye Bye Bisexual” that recognizes that for the most part both the heterosexual and homosexual communities don’t like Bi-sexuals.

You see, we have to recognize bisexuals, and by gender, because the whole wide world seems to think bisexuals in general are just “confused.” Which is just as idiotic assumption as thinking all women are bi on some level and are just waiting for the chance to make out. Like Girls Gone Mild, “gay until graduation” college girls, and chicks who read too much Maxim and want to make their boyfriends keep them around a minute longer.

I admit that in the past I have made the assumption that my friends who are bi are “just confused.” And while most of my bi friends have “picked a side” by now some of them remain “undecided”.

When I think about it, we are all attracted to both men and women. There are just varying strengths of our attraction and these strengths waver too. I would label myself as straight, however I find myself physically attracted to the women I see walking past me on the street every day, so much so that sometimes I have to stop and spin my neck around like a dude. And while, I haven’t gotten comfortable with the idea of being sexual with a woman, I’m not writing it off.

Violet Blue goes on to explain a recent sex ed exercise on sexual orientation which she participated in. A group of people called out their “cultural assumptions” about straight, bisexual and gay men and women.

At the “male bisexual” point in the exercise, things came up such as “disease vector,” “faker,” “guyliner,” “transvestite,” “manties,” “guyliner,” “really gay,” “can’t decide,” and of course, “doesn’t exist.”

The article is pretty heavy. It touches on the work of Kinsey and gives more in-depth analysis of how the bi-sexual community is viewed.

To not be recognized for your sexual orientation is probably very disheartening. There are people who can have fulfilling emotional and sexual relationships with both men and women. And it doesn’t mean that they’re whore’s who jump from a man’s bed to a woman’s or that they’re “confused” or “experimenting.” How many times does a girl have to kiss another girl for it to stop being an experiment? And let’s face it, we’re all a little bi-sexual. Maybe the ones who act on their bi-sexual urges are just a little more enlightened than the rest of us.

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  • Izzy

    thank god somebody understands. whoever you are, you are incredibly considerate, smart and open minded. thank you.