I am a Caribbean black woman and for the past few years I have been with mainly white men. I realized around when I was eighteen just how much black women are over-sexed in America, whether it is because we tend to have larger breasts and rounder hips and asses or because of that whole Jezebel rumor from back in the plantation days. Caribbean women are also often viewed as these near mystical creatures who can cast spells on men with the seductive movement of their hips and have their way with them. So unlike my two friends, I try to dispel my stereotypes by being submissive in bed. I donâ€™t often take pleasure in ripping off my manâ€™s clothes and pushing him down on the bed or pinning him up against a wall (although, I was able to enjoy that type of behavior a lot more in my most recent sexual encounters). Most of the times that I have taken control it’s been done from a position of being coy. On the other hand I love being held down, tied up and even slapped around.
I find it fascinating, that as women we carry the stereotypes placed on us into even the most animalistic of activities. I also think that in a compatible sexual relationship there should be no power struggle, just the continuous give and take of control. Lately Iâ€™ve learned that itâ€™s exciting to tear of your manâ€™s pants and have your way with him: it doesnâ€™t mean that youâ€™re a sex obsessed, whore. Furthermore, my submissive behavior may cause me to be viewed as a women who doesn’t have a mind of her own or as a boring lay, and I don’t want that to happen. It is nice to understand where my behavior comes from and I hope to seek more opportunities to have control or, rather, to share it.
Questions Ladies (and Gents):
Do you think that your bedroom behavior is a reaction to a stereotype placed on an aspect of your culture?
Do these stereotypes still exist if you are having sex with someone of the same cultural background as you?
What are stereotypes that generalize he bedroom behavior of men from different cultures?
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