People who are married kill me when they try to give dating advice.
Itâ€™s like graduating high school ten years ago and coming back to your alma mater to tell the kids what it was like when you roamed those halls. All the teachers you had either died or retired. They renovated the classrooms. Youâ€™re favorite vending machine is gone.
Once you are out of the game that’s it. Everything you knew has been morphed into what you did to get your current spouse. Married people think that whatever worked in their case will work for all the single people in the world. What they fail to understand is that their experience is uniquely different.
There are more single people in the world than married. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce or murder. (Iâ€™ve added the latter. Been watching too much Dateline.) If you look at the numbers, married people are in the minority. Perhaps they should rally to be considered a real minority group right along with the blacks, gays and Hispanics.
If youâ€™ve been victim to the â€œknow-it-all-nessâ€ of a happily wedded person take what they say with a grain of salt. Married people canâ€™t give you great advice about dating because chances are they havenâ€™t dated anyone other than their boo in years.
From the time theyâ€™ve been in the dating pool, men and women have come up with a new way to date or not date, a new way to have sex with no strings attached, a new way to cheat and not get caught, and a new way to give someone mixed signals.
Women who are married are the worst when it coming to getting off their high horse. Bitch, spare me. I know why Iâ€™m single and I also know that you think just because you have a ring on your finger you think you are enlightened and can address the masses like Pope Benedict. Just because you said â€œI Doâ€ doesnâ€™t give you the authority to tell me how to date. Dating is much easy to master then say getting married and more importantly staying married. If you are married you should only be preaching about how to stay married.
Marriage can only take part between two people who want to be married. Not a lot of people want to get married until they meet that person that truly impacts their life. Some people want to get married so badly but date all the wrong people. Some folks have wanted to get married since they were kids (OK, maybe just women). Others donâ€™t feel the wedding bug until they are settled in their careers, have created a lovely life for themselves and see all their friends walking down aisle. Getting married boils down to meeting someone who is at the same point in life as you are or damn near close to it. Itâ€™s more a game of chance and luck than anything else.
I have a married friend, love him dearly, but his solution to every problem in my single life is “Just get married…”
SG: Man, I really want to go to the movies tonight.
Married Manny: If you were married youâ€™d always have someone to go to the movies with.
SG: What should I eat for dinner tonight?
MM: I donâ€™t know but my wife is cooking skirt steak. Canâ€™t wait. See if you were married you’d have someone to have dinner with every night.
MM: Are you seeing anyone?
SG: Ahh, not really. This one guy is kinda cool.
MM: Show him that you are ready to get married and see what heâ€™s about.
SG: What makes you think Iâ€™m ready to get married?
MM: You will be once youâ€™re tired of being alone. Just get married.
The next time your married friend tries to beat you over the head with their dating tips turn to them and say, â€œI appreciate the fact that you made it to the promise land but on this here side of the hill Iâ€™m making due with what there is to offer. When I get to your side of the green pasture Iâ€™ll come calling for advice.â€
â€¦Says The Single Girl
Bravely read the rest of her dating tips for Parlouristas below. Do you have a story to tell or a question for Single Girl? You can reach her directly at SingleGirlNotes@gmail.com. Donâ€™t be shy!
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