“True Blood” Recap!: “They’re Like Booze For Dolls!”

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You already know what it is ladies, “True Blood” finally returned after a week’s hiatus. Hallelujah as they’d say at Jason’s Light of Day camp! Weigh in on Jason’s clip-on tie, Sookie’s annoying stomping, Erik’s new track suit and Eggs’ ass (don’t act like you didn’t notice too…) **SPOILER ALERT** Here we go:

…why does Bill have to over-clarify everything? “Are you going to get out or do I have to throw you out, through a window that is closed!” – sez Bill. Lol.

…I know I harp on this, but why’s Jason so dumb?!? When he says “evil is when you make the pre-medicated choice to be a dick” during the first vampire conversation, and then “explain Europe to me” right after, I just shook my head. Not to mention, how is Lazarus the first vampire? SMH…

…Tara and Sookie’s CG’d to high-heaven “childhood” photo. Get the f’ outta here.

…”Oh, I’m sorry. A black woman is paralyzed and then butchered to death in the town where I live, I didn’t realize that was funny” – sez black woman cop, flatly. Dry humor = LOL.

…”Hooker…(blah blah blah) bitch..(blah blah blah).” -sez Lafeyette to Tara. CLASSIC.

…Did anyone else want to slap Sookie when she asked Sam why he’s leaving, then stomped around and turned the conversation back on herself? She’s so annoying. Ack!

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…That televangelist preacher is so GAY. When he was talking about watching “god’s awesome power obliterate evil right in front of you…” I thought he was going to kiss Jason. Not to mention, why’s the wife putting Jason to bed in nightie? Where’s your bulky Christian bathrobe? No matter what, Jason seems to pay his way with his ass. Smh.

…Speaking of Lafayette, his dance breakdown after his vampire blood dose from tracksuit Eric? Hilarious, though some people said he was coonish, and while I can see their point…I’d rather believe he was trying to convey the mixture of hyper-sexuality and incredible energy.

…Poor Detective Belfour.  He’s the only one who sees a strange connection with Maryanne, but just wont leave the bottle alone. Could he be the one who sheds the light on who she really is or will he become another casualty?

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…So I get that Maryann is both a maenad AND a part-time komono dragon, but what’s up with a) the disappearing pig? b) why she’s got such a hard-on for Tara having sex with Eggs?

…Is it just me or is Eggs behind soooooo nice? *fans myself* The sex scenes on this show are pretty hot and I appreciate a nice arse.

…Jessica can just order “Travis” at the hotel? Word? Can I order Eggs’ behind?

…So Sookie has found her mind-reading match in Dallas. Was he sent in from the crazy evangelist group too?  Or maybe Bill and Jessica will hypnotize him to team up with Sookie in their crusade against the vampire-hating church?  mmmm….

PREDICTIONS:

…Sam’s not going to sleep with the komono scratched shitty waitress, because he’ll realize that Maryann sicked her on him. (I’m keeping hope alive…)

…Sookie’s going to have to choose between Jason and Bill, because those crazy christian televangelists are going to show Jason the missing sherrif and ask J to kill him to “prove his love for the Lord.” It’s going to get ugly.

…of course, this all happens after Jason beds the preacher’s wife.

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Last 5 posts by Hillary Crosley

  • wow, that was thorough steels. there’s really not much more to add. i will only comment on our friend lafayette. i was right! and yes, the dance was coonish. haven’t they always ascribed hyper-sexuality and -energy to coons? but really though, i was definitely giving lafayette the side eye after his “performance”. he might as well been shoutin’, “i got mcdonald’s, i got mcdonald’s and you can’t have none…” lol.

  • oh yeah, and eggs’ ass was glorious. the curves, the color, the motion…got me humming negro spirituals over here.

  • I actually got a good laugh out of Lafayette’s “performance.” I figured it was just a way of showing that he was cured and back to normal. Remember, V (or vampire’s blood) has an Estacy-like effect and he looked like he got a pretty healthy dose from Eric’s arm. Plus, let’s not forget he WAS a dancer on the porn sites…

    And re: Maryanne, what makes you think she’s both maenad AND komono dragon? I get that she’s a maenad, but is she also the female killing dragon? I guess I could see that.

  • she bared her claws after she finished chanting and making the party crowd go crazy…literally. i have to read up on maenads and see what additional powers they have. maybe she’s been able to siphon off of other’s people’s energy/power and she got shape-shifting from sam or someone else. maybe that’s why she’s after tara. tara may have a power that she’s not even aware of.

  • I just found Lafayette to be hilarious and hyped to high hell off of that V! Cooning never came into my mind. If anything, people should be miffed about his convincing runaway slave portrayal a couple of eps ago, but not this. That was totally fitting with his character’s personality and how we WANT him to act. That’s Lafayette through and through.

    I love how Jason is such a loveable idiot. I wish the preacher’s wife would back the hell off so he can focus. You know he’s not smart or strong enough to keep himself out of trouble!

    Bill. Extra.
    Sookie. Extra.
    Eggs’ ass, Yes! LOL @ all my guy friends being pissed they couldn’t see Tara’s boobs. Folks on twitter were calling RACISM because we get to see Sookie’s lil bosom all the time.

    Oh and I’m not getting the “Komono Dragon” thing. Is that diff from a Komodo Dragon, the little reptile lizard thing?

  • maryann’s house? i would never go over there. why? can you imagine fruit flies and gnats in LOUISIANA? She never seems to have a clean countertop!

    jason said “the pre-Medicated choice”, LOL

    – How is Sookie gonna want to start a fight with Sam…and then ask for some days off? Wait…I used to to that shit at my old job, lol

    – Wait. you get off of a private plane for the first time and the only thing you can think of it “its like booze for dolls?” gtfoh

    – knowing that Anna Paquin (Sookie) and Stephen Moyer (Bill) are together in real life, i just pray that their relationship isn’t this drama-filled

    – Judging from Lafayette’s reaction to Eric’s blood…can i get some???

    and maryaan is also a minotaur too? oy vey.

    is it me or did this episode move slower than traffic in LA? Just get on with it!

  • Eddie

    This show is my new addiction. I’ve got so many questions. I would ask questions but I don’t know the names of any of the characters

  • Yeah, cooning didn’t come to mind for me either. He said, “I want to fu*% and dance!” and that’s pretty much what you get when you add Lafayette and V!

    It was def a slow episode, but we learned some things at the end, so it was worth it.

    I was glad we didn’t see Tara’s boobs; knowing the business, that was something the actress (Rutina Wesley) said she wouldn’t do), and I appreciate that.

    Does the photo of Tara and Sookie with Gran scare anyone else? I have to look away every time they show it. “Gran” looks like a zombie.