…Says The Single Girl: The Kelis Conundrum


We all say what we would do if we were in someone else’s shoes but chances are when it is your life you’d take a completely different route than you would if you were only an outsider looking in.

When news of Kelis and Nas’ divorced hit the streets (well really the web) I felt for the duo. I believed in their love. The fact they were able to commit to one another in the mist of a culture that isn’t the most supportive of monogamous relationships was applause worthy. Forget Jay-Z and Beyawnce; Nas and Kelis were it.

This song on her last album (I know I’m not the only person whose heard it) captured her optimism when it came to finding love.

Four years later she is a newly single mother and receiving hate from men who can’t believe how much she is getting from her ex-husband.

All that aside I asked myself:

Could I leave my husband while I’m pregnant?

No one knows the real reason why they split but we all said a collective “Damyum!” Once we heard Kelis wanted out before her baby came out. Either she has some major balls or Nas fucked up major.

What would my husband have to do in order from me to leave while pregnant?

For me, this is a very short list:

1) be convicted of murder ( self defense or to protect me are excusable)

2) sexually assault someone

3) be a con man (this includes rob, steal ore lie)

4) be on drugs

One, two and three will result in a straight trip to the divorce attorney.

Four will result in a separation and after he is proven to be clean/sober we can seek counseling and if possible work it out. I know that drug use is just a symptom of a larger issue.

Now, what could my husband do that would strain our marriage but not result in me leaving him while preggo?

1) Cheat on me

2) Have another baby on the way

3) Take a financial hit / Mess with our money

All of thee above are definitely possible deal breakers but they can be addressed after I push out the seed. I refuse to be a single mother, if I can help it. You get me pregnant and expect me to deal with it alone?

Even if the issue existed prior to me getting knocked up I still wouldn’t leave while pregnant. The stress alone would be too much for me and my unborn child. That’s not fair to me. My only focus is to make sure I can have a healthy and happy pregnancy.

Oh but believe, after I have three months to settle into motherhood I’m getting in his ass!

…Says The Single Girl

Bravely read the rest of her dating tips for Parlouristas below. Do you have a story to tell or a question for Single Girl? You can reach her directly at SingleGirlNotes@gmail.com. Don’t be shy!

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