On more than one occasion Iâ€™ve found myself hot and bothered but sexless because neither he nor I had condoms. In the heat of the moment what usually happens is you start up then pause to check if you have a condom on hand. Well, when you donâ€™t your will is tested:
â€œJust this once?â€
â€œNah, I canâ€™t. Thatâ€™s not even my dude/chick like that.â€
â€œI wonder if she is on the pill.â€
Thankfully, cooler heads prevail. Oh, I didnâ€™t say you arenâ€™t tight that you canâ€™t get none. You are, however, proud of yourself for doing the right thing.
But who should be in charge of having the condoms?
When I was younger I automatically thought it was the guyâ€™s responsibility. Iâ€™m talking young, young like teens and early 20s. Then I got to college and the RA taped them to our doors and had a fish bowl full of them in their room. My girls and I would grab a handful in jest because we were too shy to say â€œIâ€™m getting some dick from this guy in my Poly Sci class tonight and want to make sure weâ€™re strapped.â€ Instead, weâ€™d shyly laugh at the various colors and tastes and place them in our underwear draw like we never plan on using them.
Sidebarâ€¦My junior year of college I lived with my then best friend. She was a hating ass chick. One day she came home early and I had a gentleman caller over, who was on his way out. She and I had a common condom stash but I was the only one who used them. I go to sign him out. I come back to the room and she is giving me the silent treatment.
â€œSG, I see someone had sex. There are only four condoms left.â€
â€œDamn, I didnâ€™t know I was living with the pussy patrol!â€
OK, back to the topic at handâ€¦(I hated that hating ass bitch)â€¦I was sayingâ€¦
Iâ€™ve come up with a clear Condom Responsibility Plan.
1. If I come to your house, you need to have condoms.
I donâ€™t walk with condoms and not sure how many women actually do. Itâ€™s like this, I come over to your house for dinner do I have to bring my own dishes to eat off of? No, well then if Iâ€™m coming to get piped down you need to have all the tools for the job.
Carrying condoms around on GP hasnâ€™t been my thing. However, I will stop by a store and pick up a pack en route to your house if you tell me you are out.
Ladies, stop flying off the deep end when a man, whom you are not in a committed relationship, reveals he is out of condoms. Donâ€™t go keeping count and getting all upset. Not gonna lie, I have sneaked into a bedside draw or two and counted but that is because I wanted to know if he was sleeping around. I knew if I asked outright thereâ€™d be a chance heâ€™d lie. Iâ€™d count and keep the results to myself just knowing that I needed keep my guard up.
What I wouldnâ€™t do was take that opportunity to pick a fight and risk not having sex. We can fight after I get my nut. Save the drama for the next day.
2. If you come to my house, Iâ€™ll provide the condoms BUT if you know you use specific condoms, bring them with you.
Donâ€™t throw a fit when I pull out a box of Magnums and you only use Magnum XL. You want to be picky, bring your goods with you.
3. If we are in a neutral location (i.e. a hotel, your momâ€™s house, club bathroom) the prospect of sex must already be addressed.
If there is even a hint that we may get it on that night you need to sneak off and go purchase some condoms or I will flat out ask you â€œDo you have a condom, if not thereâ€™s a store two blocks up.â€ (Ladies, we know when we want to jump a manâ€™s bones so why not announce it early.)
Once we get to the store you, the man, are going to purchase the condoms. Itâ€™s the least you can do. Itâ€™s like taking the trash out. If thereâ€™s no man around, Iâ€™ll do it. If there is a man, Iâ€™m looking at you like â€œYou know you need to take the trash outâ€.
Regardless of how you handle Condom Responsibility donâ€™t get caught without protection.
â€¦Says The Single Girl
Bravely read the rest of her dating tips for Parlouristas below. Do you have a story to tell or a question for Single Girl? You can reach her directly at SingleGirlNotes@gmail.com. Donâ€™t be shy!
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