kanye west taylor swift

MTV VMA 2009 Recap: Pass or Fail…Parlour-Style!

Fill in the blank: Kanye West was ________ during the VMA’s.

You ready for J.Bakes’ and Steely D’s (me) snark? You better be, because it’s on and zesty! Relive all of MTV’s VideoMusicAward glory, through a flurry of our tweets. Think it’s fair to say that this year’s VMA’s MIGHT make up for the last SIX YEARS OF MEDIOCRITY? YOU BE THE JUDGE!

hello lovelies! this is J.Baker and Steels Magnolia, wanna watch the VMAs?

Jermaine Jackson’s hairline is outstanding. Jermaine’s hairline is …a sharpie = FAIL

Someone's channeling Betty Draper (c) "Mad Men"
M  ♥ Betty Draper

hey Madge!!! your decision to wear long sleeves…. = WIN

I wonder is Sway actively sought out a “formal” headwrap? = obligatory FAIL

wait. So Madonna are you saying that your mother dying is the reason why u are collecting African orphans? = WIN/FAIL (the jury’s out, kids needs homes, but so do the ones in that suburban Michigan hometown she mentioned)

we definitely vote NO

we definitely vote NO.

J.Lo its the dress or the sleeves….pick one. and stop impersonating Shera? = FAIL

man of the hour is “Joe Jackson?” word? ugh… = obvious FAIL

THRILLER NIGHT!!!! love how all of the dancers are in various dress of MJ. RT @thashadow: Anyone feel bad for BET right about now? = sideways FAIL, WIN for MTV

Get 'em Janet!

Get 'em Janet!

JANET FOR THE MUTHAFUCKIN WIN!!!!!!!!!! (sorry for that language, lol….im still a laaaaaady (c) Santigold

wait. host Russell Brand was godawful last year. the decision to bring him back? = FAIL

Bey, Katy, GaGa are a little upset right now. But Kanye, I don’t think Bey needs your help boo. Ye Kanye owes Taylor MAJOR apology. = show-stopping, getting escorted out of the show FAIL

Justin Beiber is the cutest little girl = epic WIN for teenage girls everywhere- but this doesn’t discount the weirdness of his likeness to Shane from “The L Word”

Anyone else think of Madge's "Vogue" or "Like A Virgin" performance during Gaga?

Remind you of Madge's "Vogue" or "Like A Virgin" performance?

Lady Gaga is single-handedly keeping the entire New York trimmings industry in business. wait, i dont understand the wheelchair, the paps killed her? am I smart enough for this performance? still… performance art = WIN

RT @thashadow: RT @KingFame: RT: @MissBridge All- Kanye was just escorted out of the VMAs – wow!!!! [of course he was] = WIN (for Taylor), FAIL for Yeezy

-love how Nelly Furtado always has to remind you that she is Latin…since her debut marketing team did a great job at making us forget = cultural FAIL

it’s official, our Mascot – aka J.Baker’s dog – Miko hates Russell Brand. He goes back to sleep when he comes on = host FAIL

watching this Twilight trailer makes me wish that someone would adapt an Octavia Butler book….correctly….I’m not a fan of kristen’s hair…boo

a true lady, Tina and Matthew must be so proud. We know we are

A true lady, Tina and Matthew must be so proud. We know we are!

Bey’s taking us to church w/ “Single Ladies!” why’s the hand thing so fun…Beyonce is the patron saint of bikini waxers everywhere = WIN

ranting aside, Kanye’s new cut makes him look like he has burn scabs on his head. = ew FAIL

for a second there, we thought Eminem was sam ronson. Eminem: this award is for crazy ninjas everywhere, er Proof!

suspecting that cudi on the slimfast and weed diet….he just gets smaller and smaller = skinny boy FAIL (we like our boys with grown man weight)

commercial flashback: best of the WORST hip-hop vids of 2008 http://bit.ly/lINxf = obvs WIN

ok, lady gaga’s outfits is giving me Party Monster ALL DAY! this is for god and the gays! (c) gaga [heart] = weirdness WIN

pink aka circus freak. love it…im scared for her though! = acrobatics WIN

Two classy ladies in red, good job Bey!

Two classy ladies in red, good job Bey!

classic move by Beyonce. RT @Killah1206: Thank you Beyonce. At least we know SOMEBODY’S mama raised them right. = classy and gracious WIN

the shawn carter show. like alicia’s hair…for a homewrecker, lol. no shots. donde estas el swizzy? = WIN

love to see Bey in the front audience like “go boo go!” = adorable WIN

Us: Hey Mama, we have an idea, why don't you play yourself! Her: Done!

Us: Mama, we have an idea, why don't you play yourself! Her: Done!

where the HELL did lil mama come from? = rando FAIL (where she was later murked repeatedly on Twitter, oh Lil Mama. You know better girl)

-Russel Brand calling lady gaga “an eskimo!!!” = hilarious WIN

kanye is somewhere thanking GOD for LilMama right now [yeah, don’t think she saved him for the on-coming witch hunt for his head by middle America tho…] = smh FAIL

TALLY:

WINS = 12

FAILS = 12

TOSSES = 3

Overall, Beyonce, Gaga were best in show, however Green Day gets a pass for being 100 years old and still going. Ultimately, this was a FANTASTIC step up from the last six years of VMA’s where we couldn’t even be bother to liveblog/tweet. Go VIACOM/THE MAN!

Thoughts?

Last 5 posts by Parlour

  • can’t remember the last time that i was a little excited to watch the VMAs so overall…pass! but kanye is still a gay fish.