‘True Blood’ Recap!: Farewell, Until Season Three

Twenty minutes into “True Blood” and Maryanne was dead, which left the rest of the hour to clean up her mess and set the stage for Season three. This season brought us a maenaed, a virgin vampire, zombies, orgies, vampire terrorists, and a Yahtzee-loving vampire queen. Whew… It’s been a journey. Based on how the season ended, it looks like Sookie opened up a new can of worms (Eggs) and Bill is, well.. who knows! Let’s weigh in. Here are a few highlights and our predictions:

  • Sam shape shifting into Maryanne’s “God” was simply classic. Perfect way to plot her ending. Too bad it took until her demise before she realized that her “God” doesn’t exist. What an idiot.
  • Hilarious that Jason actually thought that he and Andy Bellefleur saved the town. And funnier when he said “I love the smell of nail polish in the morning.” Um, J, you mean napalm, the explosive? Apocalypse Now cast member you are not…
  • Lafayette telling everyone to “worship him bitches!” and prancing around in his head wrap was great. Love him!
  • Did anyone else find the scene with the Vampire Queen and Eric weird? The sexuality, though she’s a lesbian and threatening Eric? And why would she want to sell vampire blood? And who does she answer to? Is there an almighty couple of the USA, or even the entire vampire world perhaps?
  • Sookie is always causing trouble. Jason is going to confess to killing Eggs in the next season. Tara will find out that Sookie allowed him to look into his past and will never speak to her again.
  • Jessica is about to become the next virgin vampire killer (VVK), channeling Charlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos. Poor Hoyt.
  • Sam Merlotte is going to search for his parents, only to find that one is a human and the other is a German Shepherd.
  • The dancing scene between Sookie and Bill at the restaurant was hilarious. For two seconds, I thought I was watching “True Blood: The Musical.”
  • Sookie and Bill living happily ever after would have just been too easy. Now what will become of him…we’ll have to wait. I really felt sorry for him though when Sookie left him at the table to “collect her thoughts.” Next season, she will run to find him and will suddenly be stopped by lustful thoughts of Eric. Wait- why do they have to go to Vermont?

WHAT DID YOU THINK?

Steely says: I’m a nerd, which means I’m reading the actual Sookie books (don’t judge me, I’m a freelancer) and I know what’s going to happen (kinda…) even though the books are different from the show. I vote everyone read the books! It’s like the emptiness you felt after watching Harry Potter’s last installment- why wait when you can just read the book? *jumps off soapbox*

Last 5 posts by Sherry J. Bitting

  • finkies

    yay for the books! though at this point im not sure that the books will be followed anymore at all

    and maybe they were referencing vermont for marriage laws — a lot of people think that the social commentary of this show is that vamp rights = gay rights

    also, can’t wait to see who snagged vampire bill — eric would be too obvious. I think his maker came back for him now that godric is dead for reals

  • overall, i was underwhelmed. i’m with you on all the points you raised. the 1st 20 minutes were a mess. i was wondering how they were going to come away from all of that. i still don’t know why bill didn’t glamour them ala men in black with that flashy light thing.

    they have to go to vermont to get married, like finkies said.

    i believe that eric kidnapped bill. he did tell the vampire queen that he’d take care of him. and the kidnapper had to wear gloves to hold the silver chain so…

    the vampire queen is probably selling V because she is bored and since she seems very egocentric, she probably also wants a little bit of herself all over.

    the missed moment with hoyt and jessica is sad. she should have waited but she’s too young of a vampire and too horny of a teenager. that whole thing is not going to end well. hoyt’s mom may still wind up dead, like i predicted a while ago, but if jessica is going to start wilin’ out, hoyt may have to put her down.

    tara is so much of a mess that i really don’t know what to expect from her or for her. lafayette’s finally back. and i want “worship him, bitches” on a t-shirt.

    that house needs to be burnt down and the land needs to be salted. or they need a serious “cleansing”. if there ever was a time that a place should have been haunted, it was when sookie was being stalked by rene or when maryanne & her crew set up shop. after all that has happened there, how did sookie just go lie down like there still wasn’t a nest on her grandmother’s bed?! for a split second, i thought that sookie’s glow came from her grandmother, like harry potter’s power stems from his mother’s love but i don’t know now.

  • Mahogs

    RT: @asha (I spend too much time on Twitter!) that house needs to be burnt down and the land needs to be salted. or they need a serious “cleansing”. if there ever was a time that a place should have been haunted, it was when sookie was being stalked by rene or when maryanne & her crew set up shop. after all that has happened there, how did sookie just go lie down like there still wasn’t a nest on her grandmother’s bed?!

    SO TRUE!!! She would have been better off moving in with Bill and sleeping in his coffin.