customer service reps joke
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Gimme My $10!!!

customer service reps joke

There are few things I can actually say I hate in this world, but customer service representatives are one. My patience gets shorter than Bow Wow ducking behind a shoebox (#sorrybowwow) when I’m on the phone with these people, because nine times out of ten they can’t help me with what I’m calling about in the first place.

Recently, I had a beef with my bank over a $10 overdraft transfer fee that was charged to me incorrectly. I called to get the fee waived and after five minutes going back and forth with the automated answering system, I finally got a real person on the line. I plead my case saying, due to the stipulations in my banking agreement, I should not have been charged. The customer service rep says to me, “Well we only charged you $10, not $35 which you could have been charged.”

That gets my blood boiling.

“Did you not hear, what I said?” I say through clinched teeth. “ I am not supposed to be charged at all, I have FREE overdraft protection. So whether it’s $10 or $35, it’s still not FREE. Do you see my point?”

Customer Service Rep: “Yes, I see your point, but that’s the policy.”

Me: “I’m looking at my statement now, and reading your policy, it does not say that anywhere.”

I’m lying, I haven’t looked at my policy in years, but I hate to lose an argument.

CSR: “Well, it says it online, if you go to XBank.com you will see it on the website.”

ME: “How am I supposed to go online and look for something I don’t even know exists? Who does that?!”

CSR: “Well sir, it’s there. I can’t do anything further, that is our policy.”

Me: “Your policy doesn’t make any sense, you’re telling me one thing to get me to sign with you guys, and now it’s a totally different story. Don’t you see my point?”

CSR: “Sir, there’s nothing more that I can do, I’m sorry.”

Me: “Hold up, before all of the ‘I work for X Bank stuff, keep it real, that policy makes no sense, right?’”

I don’t know why I thought she would risk her job, on a monitored phone call, just for me, but fuck it. This argument is now about principal!

CSR: “I’m sorry sir, I can not waive the fee. Is there anything else I can do to help?”

Me: “Well, you haven’t helped me yet. You’re hitting me with a bogus policy, which you know in your heart is wack, but can’t admit it….”

CSR: “I’m sorry sir.”

Me: “Let me speak to your supervisor.”

Now let’s be clear, the supervisor request is always a reach. I personally don’t even think you get to the “supervisor,” I think the CSR just passes the phone over the cubicle wall to one of their co-workers, like “Michelle, I need you to play supervisor for a minute.”

I’ll spare you the back and forth between me and the supervisor, because it pretty much mirrored the above, except her tone was a bit more impatient and self important, on some, “I’m the ‘supervisor’ and I have no time to be on the phone going back and forth over a $10 bank fee, when I should be doing big things like SUPERvisin’.” But this is where things get spicy.

She’s basically said numerous times, it’s a no-go, she’s going to stick with policy, and shut down my little $10 reprieve.

Me: “So, ‘no’ you can’t waive the fee?”

SUPER: “No sir, I cannot waive the fee for you. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Me: “I’ve been banking with XBank for almost 10 years now, and you can’t waive a $10 dollar fee?!”

SUPER: “Sorry sir, that’s the policy. Is there anything I can help you with?”

She’s getting tired of me at this point. The total time of this call is nearing 20 minutes.

Me: “Yes. Let me speak to your supervisor.”

Yeah, I went there. I want justice! However, she’s not having it.

SUPER: Well, I’m the supervisor here, and there is no one above me, so I’m sorry that is our final decision. I can give you the mailing address to write a letter, maybe that can help.”

Oh word? Shorty thinks she’s funny, huh?

Me: “Write a letter? What’s that going to do?”

SUPER: “Well, that is your only option at this point, do you want the address or not?”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll take the address…FUCK YOU BITCH!”

I hang up. Yes, I know I went out on some punk shit, but I was tight–they got me for my $10.

At about this point I realize I probably shouldn’t have cursed out the supervisor at my banking institution and panic sets in. I don’t feel too bad about my actions, but I am truly worried about my paper. I call my girlfriend and tell her the story, I omit the “bitch” part because I was ashamed of that already, and didn’t need to be judged at the moment.

The priority is still my $10, not disrespect. She says she doubts that anything will happen, but it wasn’t the smartest move. I agree, and at the end of the conversation, I hang up and start my day.

I go outside, jump in the whip (’93 Corolla baby!) and start handling business. After making a few moves I realize, I have to stop at the ATM and get some paper. I pull up to the bank, and can’t find a parking spot, so I decide to double-park real quick and run in and hit the ATM. When I get inside only one machine is working the other is being updated, so the line is diesel. I’m looking out the window every five seconds like Henry Hill in Goodfellas making sure there aren’t any cops coming to hit me with a $115 ticket.

Finally, I’m next. The dude in front of me is taking way too long on the ATM, so I start to heckle him under my breath. “C’mon fam, you making love or something? Let’s go!”

Eventually, he’s done, and I’m not sure why this is but when the person before takes forever to use the ATM I always feel the need to go extra fast in handling my business, as if I’m giving a clinic on how to properly withdraw funds in a timely fashion. So I make this grand presentation of swiping my card, and punching in my PIN. I wait for a second for the next prompt, when I get a message that says, “PIN code error. Please try again.”

Huh?

Okay, maybe I was speeding, let me slow down, and be more careful. Again, I swipe and type, wait a second, and sure enough I get the same message. “PIN code error. Please try again.”

I think to myself, “Nah…this can’t be a result of the earlier beef, could it?”

Third time’s a charm here we go. Same message. “Oh shit! She got me.” I’m starting to hear snickers and teeth sucking behind me, my neck is getting hot. I tuck my card into my wallet and walk out to the car, to find a parking spot real quick. Park the Corolla, and walk back to the bank. I ask to speak to a representative and tell them what the problem is, they tell me my PIN has been reset, and I’ll have to wait like 20 minutes for them to reset it.

Meanwhile, this was the Friday before Labor Day, had I not walked into the bank I would have been assed out for 3 days.

Take my story as a lesson. Try not to lose your cool with those people on the phone handling your accounts. They are people too, and they will get even.

Good one gully supervisor at X Bank, I tip my hat. You are as petty as I am…but I still haven’t forgotten about my $10.

Last 5 posts by Parlour

  • Steely D

    everytime I read this, I giggle again. I HATE being on the phone with any corporate institution that has what I feel is “power over me” ie. banks, irs, unemployment, health insurance…so frustrating! except WaMu, RIP