Shout out to Bill Thompson for taking that L. He never stood much of a chance, he had no real platform other than, â€œIâ€™m not Bloombergâ€ which is cool, because I personally donâ€™t rock with Mike like that, but thatâ€™s a whole â€˜nother post. But the big reason he lost is, he had no presence. If it wasnâ€™t for Bloombergâ€™s ads folks in Brooklyn still wouldnâ€™t know if he was black or not.
Olâ€™ Owl Face could have at least created a Facebook profile, put out a mixtape or something! How you gonna run this town, and you have no buzz?! Bill Thompson couldnâ€™t have been mayor of New York on Halloween.
Speaking of Halloween, Iâ€™m glad itâ€™s over. Growing up, Halloween was nothing to play with. Youâ€™d better be strapped (with eggs) or be a victim. The egg thing was the least of your problems. Add to that shaving cream, Super Soakers filled with Nair, and the ultimate, pumpkins being thrown off the roof. Word. Thatâ€™s Brownsville projects for ya.
On another note, when I was in third grade my mother sent me to school on Halloween in my Easter suit with a sign around my neck that said â€œNick Ashfordâ€. That was some bullshit, kids all around me were dressed as Spiderman, Superman, Dracula, and here I am looking like Iâ€™m on a job interview. That was some lazy bullshit.
2009 Lazy Costume Award goes to, drum roll pleaseâ€¦white women dressed as Michael Jackson, thatâ€™s too easy.
Read Damien Lemon’s first piece of comedic greatness here!
Last 5 posts by Parlour
- The Travel Seven: Kamerin Chambers - October 11th, 2017
- The Travel Seven: Elisia Brown - July 18th, 2017
- The Travel Seven: Ianthia Smith - May 6th, 2017
- The Travel Seven: Monet Hambrick - February 19th, 2017
- NYE Heartbreak: How I Reclaimed Myself In New York City - January 29th, 2017