…Says the Single Girl: “Love On a Five”


I have a new addiction: VH1’s Sex Rehab. I stumbled across it one  day but couldn’t turn. I had given up on VH1, what with all of their “…Love…” reality shows and limited my reality TV intake to “Man vs Food,” “Bizarre Food,” Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations,” “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Bridezillas.”
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However, there was something about these Z-list celebrities sitting in front of Dr. Drew (remember Lovelines!) peeling back the layers of their hardened exteriors revealing the root of their sexual addictions.
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I’m no sex addict but I did relate to some of the cast when they spoke about being cold towards intimacy. My issue has been that of trust. It takes a long time for me to let the wall down and allow myself to feel. Ironically, I watched the show with my S.O. (Significant Other) right next to me. I had to be mindful of my nods in agreement with some of what these hurting folks had to say.

One woman, Amber, is a former model and drug addict. Only once the drugs were gone did she realize that sex was another problem. She claims she’s never been in a relationship. She’s in her 40s.

Amber was discussing her issues with men:

“Either I love on a 10 or a 1. 10 means I’m head over heels and my world revolves around him. There’s passion. 1 is when I get a guy who’s all into me, I trap him and have my way with him. I want something in the middle. I need to love on a 5″

Things that make you go hmmm…

Love on a 10 sounds amazing. I’m sure that’s what Bobby and Whitney were on. I did love someone like that. Well I wouldn’t call it love more like lust. And it wasn’t on a 10, more like a 9. We were crazy together. I mean, someone call the cops on us crazy. Our battles would be a mix of hot passionate action and WWF. I hated him as much as I loved/lusted him.

I never want to go through that again.

Most of my “loves” (for lack of a better word) averaged in the 1-3 range. I once had a 7 but he didn’t know what he wanted, reaffirming my decision to stick with 1-3s. With the low rung lovers I was in control, no deep emotions, no drama, just unattached companionship.

The bad thing about love on a scale of 5 or less: you never take it seriously. Whatever sign of emotion they show you or kind-hearted action, you take for granted. They’re disposable.

5-7’s are the perfect combo of love, lust and tolerance. Ha!

8’s are cool if they love you just as much but let’s be real, no two people love each other to the exact same degree.

9-10’s are dangerous. That’s when you get to pulling your hair out, stalking, dedicating Facebook profile pictures, sending cryptic and not so cryptic tweets…basically losing yourself in the warm feeling of love to the brink of insanity.

The other bad thing about loving on the highest level…you are always going to want it to be on that level. The moment it dips a half point below you are looking to do anything to bring it back up. You’ll find yourself asking over and over again, “What’s wrong?” “Is everything OK?”

Everyone should encounter love on a 10. It’s an invaluable experience where you learn who you are, what makes you snap and walk away. If you don’t know what love on a 10 is like listen to Jill Scott’s “Slowly Surely”.

Love on a 1 is just as destructive as 10 but instead of hurting you are doing the hurting.

I’d like a balance. Love on a 5-7 is perfect for me.

What’s your perfect number?

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