…Says The Single Girl – The Ex-Files

I had spent the whole day in bed working. Manny had come by to use my printer and the BFF was making a pre-date pit stop. Manny was telling me about his latest conquest. Naturally, I logged onto Facebook to check her out. That’s when I got a chat alert from my first.

His face popped up in that little right bottom corner box and I almost pulled my covers over my head. I looked a mess and felt as though he could see me — remember that episode of “Sex and the City” when Carrie first learned about AIM? I had accepted his friend request the week before but never intended for him to actually contact me directly. Write on my wall? Sure. Comment on a photo? Cool. Actually have a real time conversation with me? FOH!

Hesitantly, I obliged him.

My First: Hey SG!

SG: Hey, how are you?

First: I’m doing well. You look amazing.

Where the hell is this conversation going? I haven’t spoken to him in over a decade. In fact, the last time I ran into him was at the gym. The time before that, I was seventeen and he had spent the night at my house while my parents were out of town. I know nothing about this man and I’m not really trying to play catch up.

SG: I see you are busy traveling the world.

Can’t lie, I went through his photos. Whenever you see a black man on a big ass boat, curiosity wins.

First: Yeah, I’m a private contractor with the government. I love it.

When I met him, he was a struggling basketball player. Now he’s working for the man? Interesting.

First: You know I am so happy I found you on here. I’ve been wanting to tell you something. I was half way around the world one day, saw your picture and saw the possibility to apologize.

Cue the back story:

It was the summer of 1996. I had this bullshit job working in the hot sun at a concession stand. He was with the clean up crew. I had noticed him a couple times when he would come to empty the garbage can by my cash register. I was a shy teenager with braces and a growing woman body. I would look down when I smiled and avoid direct eye contact with boys. Real awkward. One day it was 94 degrees. He stopped by my stand and asked for a cup of water.

It’s so hot out here today, he said with a thick accent. His skin was a dark chocolate but I would learn he was from South America.

Is he really talking to me?

I’m sweating bullets. He lifted up his shirt revealing his sweaty, glistening 6-pack. My jaw literally dropped. From that day on, he courted me, stopping by my stand to chat, going to lunch with me and riding home with me on the train.

Once our summer gig was over, we continued seeing each other. By the next spring, he was the closest thing I had to boyfriend. Eventually, we had sex. Weeks later, I was at his place and decided to do some after-sex chatting.

Are you an American citizen? I asked.

Yes! I was born in Florida. He looked at me like I had two heads. What, you think I’m with you for a green card?â

Huh? I’m so confused right now. Is he serious? I’m only 15 what is he talking about marriage?

He went on for a few minutes, basically cussing me out. Speechless, I got up from the bed, put on my clothes and left. I wouldn’t see him again except for a brief run-in years later. Now he was apologizing to me on Facebook.

I hope I didn’t scar you. I knew I was wrong but I was too proud to admit I was wrong. I was young, he typed.

Yet again, because of him I found myself speechless. I was touched that he had the balls to do this, after all these years. Not only that,  but I was also moved that he realized his misplaced anger could have had an impact on my young impressionable mind at the time. It’s possible it could have. I never gave it any thought but I imagine getting kicked out of bed by the man you lost your virginity to could cause some damage.

I repeat his words to Manny and BFF. They both agree the shit was impressive.

Dude is going hard, said Manny. “Is he trying to get the buns again?”

“Wow, he’s good!” chimed in BFF as she put her make-up on for her hot date.

I accepted his apology and think it was perhaps the most endearing one I’ve ever received. After all these years he thought enough of me to apologize. Amazing!

See good things can happen when you log onto Facebook.

– Says the Single Girl

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