‘True Blood’ Recap!: I Don’t Know About You But I Was Raised to Fight Back

After live tweeting the BET Awards — follow us here! — we watched the recorded “It Hurts Me Too” episode of “True Blood.” Um, Alcide finally arrived and this script gave new meaning to the term ‘missionary position.’ But as usual, that’s not all…We can’t wait to hear your thoughts since you ladies requested a Monday morning recap.

GIVE US COMMENTS!

– Bill really did set Lorena on fire. #awesome

– “It’s like armageddon in here every time someone chips a dessert glass,” says vamp Jackson king, Russell Eddington.”We could all use a moment let cooler heads prevail.” (Get it, cooler heads? Lorena was on fire … NM)

– uh oh … Jackson suggests Bill “turn” Sookie. Sounds like Twlight.

– “Jackson is where he’s from,” says Eric to Sookie. “You’re no good to Bill or me if you’re dead.”

– Tara’s moans of ecstasy and flickering eyes with the new vamp, Franklin. Woah, that must’ve been the best orgasm she’s ever had.

– “Don’t ever get married Sam, the second you do, they start to woman you,” says Sam’s dad.

– “What the hell just happened?” says Tara. “What you experienced was euphoria,” says Franklin.

– Pam giving the stripper head on the Fangtasia desk. LOL. “Spit it up cupcake I’m in the middle of something,” says Pam to Jessica via phone. “Lie back sweetheart and think of Astonia.”

– Jason wants to be a police officer but can’t answer any of the entry test questions. SMH.

– Hoyt’s stepping up and demanding Jason’s opinion but his advice? “That’s why every girlfriend I’ve ever had is the hotter than the last,” says Jason to Hoyt. We need Jayson to stop being jealous of Detective Andy Belfleur.

– Who was Arlene boinking 10 weeks ago? Not Terry?

– Eggs’ empty funeral is sad sad sad. But Sookie paying for it is what it means to be a top-notch friend.

– 1868 throwback with Bill, his wife Caroline and the dead kid is sad.

– “That must be new …” says Lafeyette to Jason. “Try spending your waking moment mopping up your cousin’s tears and keeping her away from sharp objects.” We like Lafeyette’s maroon doo-rag.

– ACLIDE ARRIVES!

– Damn Sam, you shouldnt’ve told your family where you were.

– Who’s the headless, handless dude?

– Police chief Bud Dearborn quits? “43 years and what have I got to show for it?” screamed Bud. “I don’t need this shit!”

– FTR, Alcide’s eyes are supposed to be green. Boo.

– “My ex is banging their leader,” says Alcide. #debbiepelt

– “I don’t know about you but I was raised to fight back,” says Sookie to Alcide.

– “The only way to show your love for a human is to stay away,” says Lorena to Bill in his flashback nightmare. “Do you understand now?”

– “Zima, correct?” says Jackson’s husband. LOL. He’s classic.

– “I hereby renounce my allegiance to Louisiana and announce my loyalty to Jackson,” says Bill to Jackson in front of Lorena. Wow, Lorena really wants to kill Sookie. #jealousyisasickness

– Jason almost outing himself to Tara. SMH.

– Can I get a crazy red sports car for $1?

– “Yes you are, but let’s not tell anyone just yet!” says Arlene to mentally unstable Terry.

– “If you throw a punch, you’re so one of us,” says Sam’s lil’ brother when Sam buffing their father for serving shots to the underaged son.

– Jessica telling Franklin everything after he randomly arrives at her house. #strangerdanger

– Damn Sam, your family sux. They took all of your take for the night? #bullshit

– Debbie is engaged to Coon (aka Wilhelmina Slater’s boyfriend Connor from “Ugly Betty.“) Aw shucks!

– “I will never love you, never make love to you,” says Bill to Lorena before he twists her head around and hits it from the back? #eek

Questions:

– Lorena killed Bill’s wife Caroline didn’t she? #bitch

– Why is Jessica such a dunce? Why does Franklin care about Bill? Where the hell did he come from anyway?

– Damn Bill, what happened? Sookie’s NOT going to be happy. We’re assuming he’ll tell her because he’s honest like that. Thoughts?

– Why Franklin care about Sookie? I’m so interested in that? #differentfromthebooks

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Last 5 posts by Hillary aka Steely D

  • ok, after the BET awards show and the boondocks, my mind was blown so i wasn’t ready for all of what happened on true blood. i was wrong about lorena being set on fire and it was hilarious (i’m still right about the sam/bill homoerotic scene. if it had happened, bill would’ve had on sam’s shirt and he would’ve fed. he didn’t; that’s why he fed on that old lady). ok, we know she made bill make his wife forget but i’m sure she came back later and killed her.

    jessica is a dunce because she was a very sheltered 18 yr. old before she was turned and now that she has been, she has had no guidance at all – on vampire stuff or even regular life stuff. she may be slow but she’s smart enough to know that she wasn’t as strong, as fast or as smart so franklin so she told him what he wanted to know.

    that last scene between bill and lorena was disturbing. he twisted her head around but still hit it from the front. why didn’t he just hit it from the back to begin with? oh well. i guess it was a love/hate thing. he hates lorena but he knows that she’s right in her own twisted way. and then, she did turn him so he’s connected to her eternally. it doesn’t excuse what he did though. he will try to make it right but he’s not going to tell sookie the whole truth to protect her, which will make it worse. i think franklin’s interest in sookie has something to do with bill’s initial interest in sookie. i won’t ruin it though. franklin’s interest in bill seems to be strategic.

    oh yeah, franklin gave tara the seizures! she always seems to fall into great sex with terrible results. poor tara.

  • The sex on this episode was crraaazzyy! Tara and the eyes rolling back then how quickly he flipped her.. good lord..i wasn’t ready for all that..and bill and lorena at the end…i was grossed out…poor bill..he’s forever tied to a woman he hates.. i thought maybe she’d die from that but probably not right? had to hurt like hell though lol. and pam! go head girl. is that the same girl eric was banging? she don’t get tired? smh…

    i’m kinda mad they’re departing from the novels…but i guess they can’t just chew the books up and spit them back out at us…

    franklin…where did he come from? the queen maybe? bill is a threat to her, knowing that she’s selling v. or maybe the king of missisippi has a plan b and needs intel on sookie…can’t believe tara fell for him.. but then again he glamoured her right? oh tara, she has the worst luck in the world.

    that head was from the guy jessica accidently killed. that poor girl.. nothing good comes from youth without guidance lol. and who is the red heads baby daddy? wasn’t she banging terry the whole time the maenad was around? wait she probably doesn’t remember.. didn’t the whole towns memory of that time get erased? that’s why she’s confused.. i think..

    alcide is a hottie!.. wtg to see how the werewolves storyline evolves.. i’ve read the books but i’m sure they’ll put their own spin on it..

    l luvs me some true blood!

  • GREAT episode!!! This is going to be a wicked season. And Alcide… wooo weee!!

  • KACIE

    I do not think that Bill will tell the Sookster… He may be a vampire, but he is still a man, and I just don’t have that much faith.
    I do believe that that beezie, Lorena, killed his wife D E A D…
    I am SO happy with the pick for Alcide…They couldn’t have done better =)
    Is it possible Franklin cares about Sookie because they are trying to tie in that whole vampire database Bill was working on in the books?
    Why was Jason’s hindquarters on point?
    And who loved Jason’s declaration of “I’m a ninja level marksman. I have all the trainin I need” ??? I thought it was HILARIOUS…