‘True Blood’ Recap!: I Can Offer You the Sun

This week’s “True Blood” episode called “Fresh Blood” continued Russell Edgington’s reign of terror, but Jesus is the one that was really scary. Ladies know, few things that fine come without a price and Lafayette did call him a “Shaman in a Sunday hat” awhile back. From V flashbacks to Tara and Sam’s reuniting, let’s get into it!

Don’t make me go back alone

Lafayette created a monster by giving Jesus some V, especially since the couple time-traveled back to see J’s grandfather who practiced the dark arts. Now, Jesus’ face is scary death mask at random times and Lala’s having flashbacks with his dolls who are asking him to “come with us.” Break up with Jesus NOW.

I drank him dead before I figured out how to do it right

The novella de Hoyt y Jessica continues. Now the couple are reunited and Jess admits that she’s a cold-blooded (literally) human eater. What’s love-struck Hoyt’s response? “Drink me.” Sounds a bit like Sookie and Bill doesn’t it? Meanwhile Hoyt’s “mama” and that annoying antique enthusiast Summer are plotting to get him back.

It’s fairies, fucking fairies, who knew!

This is where the show’s language got a bit campy. When Russell, still clutching Talbot’s bright red remains, asks Eric why he killed Talbot. Eric replies, “You loved him more than anything, he had to die.” Duh-DUN!!! Then just as Russell’s squaring up to kill him, Eric entices him with the opportunity to “day walk,” ie. walk in the sunlight without “meeting the sun” or frying up like your average vamp. Russell is intrigued and follows Eric back to Fangtasia where he’s locked up Sookie. She escaped, but not for long before Russ and E find her and drink her blood as Bill encourages them. Sookie’s obviously pissed because, yet again, the vamps have left her out of the grand plan of how to save their world. Eric walks outside to prove the sun doesn’t kill him and beckons to Russ. Not seeing that Eric is smoldering, Russ walks out beside him and Eric handcuffs them together in a suicide mission to make them meet the sun together.

ps. Eric’s romper room ringtone rocks.

You bitches do your fucking job!

I know we used to say that Tommy was out of pocket, but it’s Sam’s turn now. Morphing into a better looking version of his birth father Joe Lee, the shifter is hitting the Jack Daniels hard and cursing out everyone in his path. He calls Arlene and Holly (the wiccan) bitches, Terry a “shellshocked mu’fuker” and puts Tommy out on the streets. Then he drinks with Tara, a fellow Bon Temps resident with liquor-enhanced familial issues, and they boink in his trailer. To be fair, Tara’s still reeling from Jason’s admission that he killed Eggs and Andy essentially telling her that Eggs was suicidal. It’s rough on ol’ girl… still, does that mean that she and Sam deserve to die? Tommy is doing something with some wires beneath the trailer and what’s that remote with the green lights?

Nothing’s free

Arlene participates in Holly’s wiccan ceremony to abort Renee’s baby, complete with salt and drinking her own blood in a cup of baby-leaving “mixture.” Did anyone else think that Arlene giving herself a forest abortion when she doesn’t believe in the practice was odd? She hates vamps but is cool with wiccans? Holly tells Arlene that if the Great Mother (as is earth mother) wants to take the baby, cool, but if not there’s nothing she can do about it. Later Arlene thinks she has a miscarriage and doesn’t… then the previews show her getting held up by Renee’s spirit and Lafayette seeing it. Hm … (Break up with Jesus NOW!)

ps. Jason’s storyline with the high school kid and Crystal bore me.

pps. I hate Jason’s lamp.

ppps. Sept. 12 is going to be an awesome episode!

Your turn! Thoughts ladies (and the gents who love us)?

Last 5 posts by Hillary aka Steely D

  • – i hope eric doesnt die, he’s become my main reason for watching, much more interesting than bill….
    – pam has definately grown on me, she’s a cold blooded biach!!!
    – why the hell does crystal have blonde hair yet she turns into a black cat??? shldnt the cat be blonde too?? (jus sayin…shlda went with a brunette ya’ll)
    – Lala “run away fast!” (frm jesus)
    – sam and tara — about time.
    – arlene………..(speechless)….guess she has it comin.

  • I think that jaguar tattoo Jesus has is something associated with his sinister deeds. That man ain’t right. If I met my evil ass dead ass grandfather while I was trippin’ on V, you could not pay me enough to go back there. He needs Lafayette for something…

    I like Hoyt and Jessica too! Hoyt is actually one of my favorite characters on the show. It would make sense for Eric do die like his maker. Arlene is crazy as hell. Why risk dabbling with “magic” stuff when you have a safe, legal option. The end result is the same. That green light thing is Sam’s alarm system for Merlotte’s. Remember when Tommy broke in before and Sam’s light thing went off and he rushed over there? Well, looks like Tommy is getting a little smarter with his stealing.

  • the wires tommy was messing with were connected to the security system. he was breaking into the safe. we just saw how sam handled getting played and robbed before. this time, i say sam shifts into a huge animal (probably bear) and fights tommy. and maybe i have some aggression i need to work through but up until he kicked everyone out of the bar, sam was right. the problem with sam is not him blowing up on people but having to overindulge to express his true feelings. there are constructive ways to stop people from using you.

    while lafayette did learn about jesus’ family history, he also learned about his. he may be seeing ugliness at first, but that ability is powerful and it was there all along. his mother, crazy though she may be, knew it. he just needs to strengthen it to deal with whatever jesus may become. and from what we’ve seen, whatever jesus is is because of his grandfather. and unless he’s been sucking the souls of the people in the home where he works, he’s been pretty good for a demon.

    re: arlene, it would be easy to pigeon-hole her, as much as she does it to others. but to play devil’s advocate, wiccans don’t eat people. as far as she knows (and the show has shown), wiccans are regular people. but fairness aside, holly is creepy. i don’t understand how her ritual was any different than an abortion. a botched abortion at that. oh yeah, terry is like the best partner ever! he’s been so caring, so supportive, even after he found out that the baby wasn’t his. he doesn’t deserve any of the craziness coming.

    jamie, i used to have similar questions about people changing into animals when i used to watch “manimal” back in the day. besides the hair color, where does the extra mass go or come from? the best explanation is that magic doesn’t have to make sense.

    i love hoyt and jessica’s storyline. i wish she was strong enough to glamour hoyt’s mother. that chick is the worst. it should be easy to glamour the doll freak. she doesn’t seem to have much sense.

    russell has been the best villain. i hate to see him go but he will. eric can’t die. i don’t know how they would kill him off without totally re-writing the series so i’ll just leave it at that.

    they messed up jason and crystal’s storyline. they’re taking too long to get to wherever they’re going with this and if they’re following the original plot, all of this extra stuff was useless filler.

    ps. my grandmother had the same lamp but in another color. jason is supposed to be living in his parent’s old house. and as a bachelor, i doubt he spent time thinking about his house. you see his mattress on the floor, right?

    pps. do you follow lafayette on twitter? @LafayetteTB

  • omg, i am so sorry for that long ass response:(

  • thanks for the response Asha. i mean sam did turn into a huge cow and kill maryanne last season, lolz!