We began Parlour’s “Ask Uncle Bun” relationship column last month and it was such a success that we’re keeping it going! The idea that a legendary MC like Bun B is not only schooling new rappers like Drake, but also ladies like us who just want to know if it’s too soon to “move in together” is just too perfect. As promised, we gathered questions from our readers and chose two for Bun to tackle this week. This man’s advice is the truth, so listen up.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for the last three years. He’s in his mid-thirties and has been married and divorced and also has children.Â I’m only 22 with just one child. I genuinely love this man and I would love to build a more stable relationship with him. The problem is, being that he is so much older and experienced what life has dealt him, he doesn’t want to get married or have any more children. What should IÂ do? Should I stay with him because I love him and possibly put my personal ambitions to the side. Or should I accept that we don’t haveÂ the same goals and keep it moving?
BUN B says… Love is tricky and it’s not perfect. If you’ve been married before and it led to divorce, then you’re bound to be hesitant to marry again, especially if it was within the last three years or so. Marriage can be all-consuming and he may not be ready to go all in again yet. However, that can’t be used as a reason to not commit fully. If you want marriage, then say so, and ask him what he fears more: being married again or being alone.
Dear Uncle Bun,
Should a woman give a man she is only been dating for three months financial support? I am from Britain and I’m in a long distance relationship with an African-American guy. He has a good job and a home but he wants support to fund his legal battle to get custody of his daughter from a previous relationship. I offered him the money at first but I’ve changed my mind and so did his mood. I don’t wanna lose him. Should I give him the money or not?
BUN B says… You messed up when you offered the money before you were sure you wanted to. A person’s child is usually the most important thing to them, and a custody battle can be physically, emotionally and financially draining. When you decided not to help him, it was as if you turned your back on him and his children. On the other hand, he shouldn’t have asked you for the money in the first place.
A man’s primary purpose is to provide, so before he tries to build a relationship with you, he should concentrate on stacking his money and rolling solo until he’s on his feet. If he’s asking for money, but he’s in a position to pay you back, and you really care for him, then help him, but make it a loan and get it in writing.
Got a relationship question for Uncle Bun? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject â€œAsk Uncle Bunâ€ and weâ€™ll get him your query!