The Halle Berry Effect: Look In The Mirror

halle-nahla-and-gabe

“Halle, girl—sit down please.”

Yesterday I found myself taking a much needed break from work by trolling People.com for anything that didn’t involve Microsoft Excel and quickly became intrigued by the entire Halle Berry breakup/custody drama with her beau, model Gabriel Aubry over their daughter, Nahla. Here is a breakdown, CliffNotes style:

- Halle meets model Gabriel Aubry at a Versace retail opening
– Halle hooks up with model & they become an item for four years
– Halle gets pregnant and delivers Nahla
– Damn, they break-up in April 2010
– Things seem ok, they manage to take trips together to both be with their daughter, even though they are no longer a couple
– Aubry files for joint custody & formal recognition that he is Nahla’s daddy
– Halle gets mad, and basically says that she’s worried about her daughter’s safety with Aubry
– Aubrey releases an “Are you serious?” statement
– Halle pulls out the “he called me a nigger/verbal abuse/my kid hates him” spade
– I go “WTF” and eat an entire bag of chips in 20 minutes

Leading me to wanting to know one thing—why are all Halle Berry’s relationships & breakups always so bad? Let’s take a look:

- Halle dates Wesley Snipes. Allegedly, her beat her up so bad that he causes her to be deaf in one ear. (Damn, that’s bad)
– She married baseball player David Justice, they divorced and Halle alleged claims of abuse. (Bad, bad, bad)
– She marries singer Eric Benet, they divorce after Halle Berry finds out that Eric is cheating on her—and he admits to being addicted to sex. (Sigh, bad)

To be clear, I’m 100% pro-ovaries normally but after considering the above, wheels start to turn. What really concerns me about this situation is how many other women that seem to be eternally “unlucky in love” tend to avoid considering that they themselves have been the common denominator in bad relationships. While it is a proven fact that women who have been abused early in life are more likely to seek abusers as mates, there are also plenty of women who avoid self-assessment when thinking about their personal history and why things never work out. Halle Berry’s situation is a prime example of what can happen when some unresolved personal issues spiral out of control, and sadly involve a young child.

Looking in the mirror is much more than checking out moles, curves and love handles. Realizing and accepting the dark-side of ourselves is not easy, but for many of us, it’s the only way that we can gain happiness. Often times, we rely on others and objects to make us feel good. We shop, eat, fuck, travel, and over-work. Some of us even enter faulty relationships and think that having children in the answer. We tell ourselves that we are “living the life” or “doing me,” when really, we just staying busy and ignoring the reasons why we don’t have great friendships/relationships, or are plain unhappy. And when things go wrong, we blame others and avoid looking at ourselves too.

No matter who is right or wrong, maybe Catwoman’s drama is something that we all can learn from for our own lives.
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RuPaul says it all:


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Thoughts ladies? Hawla bellow.

  • http://alishawritinglife.wordpress.com Alisha

    “I go “WTF” and eat an entire bag of chips in 20 minutes”
    Priceless.
    Great commentary. Self-discovery is mandatory when you see a pattern of bad relationships.

  • http://abigailekue.com Abigail

    Ok, I just got a crash course in Halle Berry. As I read your rundown of the latest situation I thought, “Wow, that’s great! He was still in the child’s life despite the break-up and wanted to continue to be there. He has every right to want custody and acknowledged paternity.”

    Then it went downhill…

    I REALLY hope she hasn’t cried wolf in the past and that this is another case of it.

    I just said the SAME thing to a friend earlier this week who said she’s never dating and how things never work out. “You’re the common denominator. You need to look at yourself.”

    Her response: It’s not worth it. I don’t want the pressure.

    It meaning Dating or self-evaluation? Hmm.

  • http://blackbridalbliss.com/ Bridgette

    Well Amen! This was a great read and couldn’t have had better timing for me. For Nahla’s sake, I hope Halle figures this one out quick.

  • http://Website Rhonda

    If all of your break ups are public, you’re bound to look so called “crazy” or messed up.

    I just hope they work it out. I’m not about to get on the “Halle is crazy” bandwagon.

  • Bossy

    Not to this extreme. Most people’s “my ex was crazy” stories are about someone working way too many hours, or someone never being romantic, or someone not wanting to commit after years of being together, etc. In our daily lives break ups can seem like such a big deal and the ex a total villain but those stories are nothing like abuse causing deafness, someone being racist towards their own child, a sex addict, etc. Her break ups are much more colorful not because they’re publicized but because they show a pattern of OMG, WTF!