Thanks to “True Blood” creator Alan Ball and Charlaine Harris, this week’s episode “You Smell Like Dinner” proved to explain quite a bit. I especially liked the 1982 flashback, with Bill, the punk rocker-cum-Authority spy. Let’s get into it, shall we?
It’s not that I don’t appreciate all the licking, but I’m more of a band-aid kinda guy
Crystal’s finally attempting to make Jason a were-panther so they can be together and “propagate the race.” Yikes. I was definitely worried about him too when Felton began to disrobe. “Why’s he gotta be naked?!?” screamed Jason. And then they start biting him. Too bad Andy was too bad in need of V to actually finish his Hot Shot “search” for Deputy Stackhouse.
Your blood tastes like sunshine
Eric’s really not trying to leave Sookie’s house. He’s even built himself a cubby hole underground and left himself a nice pitcher of blood. Eric’s intent on proving that “fairy Sookie” should come out to play and realize that she’s “better than” marrying a human and settling down.
You’re not my stepmom
Jessica’s ho-ing with fangbangers? It’s not right, but it certainly is interesting. I love Hoyt but she’s going to hurt his feelings with all these drives to Sherveport to drink cute strangers in the ladies’ bathroom. It was also funny when the Fangtasia protestor said “I am a Christian, godammit.” Word?
There isn’t much to know about me
Whenever a character says something like that, you know their story is crazy. As with Luna (aka Papi), turns out she’s a “skin walker,” the Navajo term for shifters who can basically become any animal or human being they like. Sounds like Mystique from X-Men, right? Cool. But I guess not because Luna’s all torn up about it and of course Sam wants to sleep with her because she’s tortured. Also, Tommy’s leg isn’t messed up and he’s been shaking down Sam for money? But now he wants to be “brothers”? What’s Tommy’s play?
You fucking traitor
Bill’s a spy for the Authority, hand picked by Nan Flanagan. He sold out the late Queen for … I’m not sure what — in the books it was dealing V — and is pronounced King of Louisiana. This means he gets security, newly decorated digs and a witch-spy to boink should the mood strike him. He’s also in charge of Eric, who he sends to rope up Marni (Harry Potter’s aunt) and her coven over their necromancy aka need to bring back the dead. Except when Eric goes to lay down the law, Marni conjures up some spell that sends Eric into the night topless and confused.
Your mama just gets a little crazy sometimes
Arlene’s baby s evil … I think. I can’t tell if she’s driving herself crazy or if the infant really did pop that blood vessel in her eye.
ps. Louis Pasture is a vampire!
pps. I’m so mad at LaLa’s purple corset top with fishnet sleeves.
ppps. What does necromancy have to do with the Spanish Inquisition? Witch hunts?
pppps. LOL at Tara’s “I’ll be waiting out front” and LaLa’s “I hear you bitch.” iDie.
Your turn! Thoughts from the ladies (and gents) who love us?
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