We finally found out who the creole lady was — besides an extra from The Help … — among other things. Anybody else want to slap Sookie for Tara when the besties faced off as soldiers for vampire King Bill and witch Antonia, respectively? And, who knew Hoyt had it in him? Anyway, there’s a lot of ground to cover, let’s get into it!
You were spellbound: The Vamps and Witches
Baby vamp Jessica is saved from daylight by Jason, only problem is now they desperately want to sleep together. After Antonia’s night of spells, Jess realizes Jason is her savior and she kisses him, then apologizes immediately. But not before Jason kisses her back #trouble. She imagines what’d it’d be like to break up with Hoyt, and Hoyt begs her to stay and she really ends it by crushing his skull and running to boink Jason, who’s waiting outside. In reality, she returns after the Antonia night and Hoyt doesn’t ask ‘Where have you been?’ or ‘Are you OK?’ When Jessica breaks up with him he goes on a tear about deserving better than her — including someone who’s not a virgin everytime they bone — but the kicker comes when Hoyt says “I deserve someone who is not going to look at all the love that I have and say ‘Sorry.’ ” Ouch. Oh, then Jess gets her invitation rescinded from Hoyt and Jason too, when she tries to be with him. Naturally Jason exercises the awkwardness away with push-ups.
At Gran’s house, Sookie and Eric boink viciously after he survives Antonia’s spell and he convinces her to drink his blood. She does and it starts snowing while they’re having sex in a bed in a forest … because they’re high. Their love scenes are boring, dude. Sookie then decides to join the vamp army to fight Antonia because Eric’s peen is so great.
Elsewhere, Bill tries to think of how to get Antonia back and offers that they meet in the cemetary near his house alone. When they show, Bill’s flanked by Sookie, Eric and others and Antonia’s touting Tara and the rest of her circle. The peace talk goes nowhere and everyone starts fighting. Pam tries to kill Tara again and Bill stops her, telling Tara “You know why.” I can only assume it’s because Bill let Tara continue to be raped and imprisoned by crazy Franklin last season. On the other side of the headstone, Eric tries to kill Antonia but I’m pretty sure he ends up as her mental slave while Sookie suffers a bullet wound.
Those dead fuckers are hardcore: The Weres and Shifters
Debbie and Alcide are having a good time in the new pack headed by Marcus Bozeman. Debbie’s even found “some really nice bitches.” She’s so happy that she asks Alcide to stay away from Sookie and follow Marcus’s orders to stay out of the vamp-witch war. Alcide agrees … but ends up saving Sookie after she’s shot in the woods during the big fight.
Debbie sees him and I’m sure it’s closing time next episode for Sookie because of it.
Over at Luna’s house, I knew her daughter Emma belonged to Marcus! Sam heads over to Luna’s to apologize after kicking out Tommy for boning her while shifting as Sam and neglecting to mention it. While the Merlotte’s owner is playing barbies with Emma, Marcus comes over to tuck his daughter in and tells Sam he’s “pissed on the wrong pooch.” Yeah, I thought that line was too corny for Marcus too …
Tommy shifts as Mrs. Fortenberry and sells her land to The Man for a few thousand dollars, then goes and throws up in the woods.
Fuck that: Lafayette
The creole black lady is still hanging around Baby Mikey and Lafayette can still see her. One night, she embodies Lafayette after sharing that her white boyfriend killed their bi-racial baby because he was married to someone else and ashamed. As a result, creole black lady is trying to steal Mikey and uses LaLa’s body to slip into Arlene and Terry’s room and nab the baby.
A few questions:
Where was Jesus this episode? And why aren’t he and LaLa a part of Antonia’s prayer circle?
What is LaLa going to do when he gets arrested for kidnapping Baby Mikey?
What’s Ms. Fortenberry going to do when she comes home and her house/ land isn’t hers anymore?
Your turn! Thoughts from the ladies (and gents) who love us?
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