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Mary J. Blige Sings ‘Crispy Chicken’ Jam For Burger King: Watch!

Why lawd? Is this my present for going to the gym this morning and jogging for a whole 20 minutes instead of run-walking?

Ladies, I come to you with a heavy heart and a full laugh because the incomparable Mary J. Blige is selling Burger King’s crispy chicken wrap, I think that’s it, I can’t really dig the words because the overall vibe is just too hilarious. It’s like listening to Jay-Z’s “Lucifer,” the beat’s so awesome I had to rewind to hear what Blue Ivy‘s dad is actually saying. But back to the @ParlourMagazine roomie’s girl Mary J. Blige, what in the entire hell is happening in this commercial?

Point One: If viral was the ad’s goal, the ad agency won.

Point Two: If the goal was tapping into conflicting African American feelings about fried chicken and other treats like watermelon, turned stereotypical during U.S. slavery to illustrate blacks as a simple people who need guidance because all we want to do is eat the aforementioned items and take a long nap, then ball = net.

Point Three: If the point was to make me wonder what Mary and Kendu are doing over there because I have adored MJB since my first Bad Boy concert when she sang “I’m Going Down” on exploding stairs, then slam dunk. NCAA, not NBA.

But if the goal was to encourage me to eat this fried thing … well, I won’t do it. Kinda like my refusal to like Denny’s since they were originally called Sambo’s or the multitude of others items, companies and cities I boycott because my heart can’t take it. And Burger King … really? No one was in the pitch room to say ‘You know what guys, this might come off like a hilarious ‘Saturday Night Live’ skit. Is that the aim? Because if I saw this ad I’d say ‘Ha! Fuck out of here and then not eat whatever we’re trying to sell.’

*passes the Abercrombie & Fitch kool-aid to Burger King and wonders if this foolishness is enough to boycott my annual BK Big Fish*

Watch the clip here since THE MAN won’t let me embed.

Last 5 posts by Hillary Crosley