Le Parcel: The New Monthly Tampon Club Because It’s So Damn Awkward Being A Woman

Le-Parcel-Le-Bullshit

Ladies, do you ever get that…well….you know…not so comfortable going to the store to buy tampons feeling? Do you wear a hoodie to conceal your face or wait until odd hours to ensure that you won’t be seen buying embarrassing brands such as Playtex, OB, and Kotex? Gosh darnit, it’s so awkward to be a woman right?

Umm, Wrong.

According to new online startup Le Parcel, buying tampons—which is as routine as buying toothpaste for most women—is a little tough to handle, so they’ve created a monthly service that allows for a cute package full of uterine lining soaking accessories such as tampon, pads and liners to be discretely delivered to your home. And what’s even better, you get chocolate and a gift! It’s a gift for your monthly “gift!” Because as listed on their website, every girl needs Le Parcel because late night runs to the market or inconvenient, periods are hard and nature’s gift “stinks.” Think of it as ShoeMint for your uterine lining.

I don’t know about you ladies, but having purchased tampons in about 10+ different countries now—the entire ordeal is pretty much a non-issue for most women, sans those who live in extremely rural regions, or due to cultural reasonings perform certain rites during after cycle, such as a mikveh. Like most women in this United States, my tampon purchases occur in the daytime, with people standing behind me in line and a cashier who really couldn’t give a shit.

Other than reinforcing the misconception that there is a public shame to be had in making “feminine care” purchases and thus around this natural, normal and expected phase of female development, Le Parcel’s math doesn’t quite add up. For example, At $15US monthly, for what appears to be about one week’s worth of tampons/pads/liners, Le Parcel is $180 yearly. The average cost for a pack of tampons or pads is about $7US for 36qty a supply that can last anywhere from 2-3 weeks. That is about $145US yearly. And that’s sans any couponing, discounts or hollering at your nearest Family Dollar-type store where you can come up on $3-5 packs! But don’t forget—you have to pay for the cliché chocolate and the (maybe not so) cheap gift that you may not even need too.

I think I can speak for most women in saying to Le Parcel that yes, “periods are hard”—but we got our flows handled.