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How to Travel With Your Boo Without Killing Each Other

Happy almost Valentine’s Day! Here in the ‘States, the holiday also happens to fall on a three day weekend so the thought of a trip for ‘just us two’ probably crossed your mind but you’ve never been anywhere together and you don’t want to break up want it be be amazing, right? Spoiler alert: You can’t travel with everyone and heading to another country often illuminates the little idiosyncrasies you could ignore in polite society. Now, I don’t own the rosetta stone of traveling as a couple, but The Husband and I have been to quite a few countries in our years together and we’ve rarely wanted to kill each other. This is a feat! Celebrate this random victory! It is a hard thing to pull off with two strong personalities so to spread the wealth, I’ve compiled some tips that’ve helped us tour the world swimmingly.

Be Honest
If you want to sleep in, drink and overeat but your partner wants to rise with the dawn, exercise and climb mountains, your out-of-town bliss probably won’t last the first 24 hours. Be clear about what you each have in mind for your time away and schedule time for each of your interests as fairly as possible and then compromise. Do a little sun salutation yoga followed by a serious buffet session afterward where you order tequila for one another.

Agree on Accommodations
When one person is cool with sleeping in a room filled with five strangers, dingy corners and a suspect shower but the other is looking for a feather bed, Egyptian cotton sheets and a lock on their private room’s door, there will be problems. Have a conversation about where you’re each dreaming of staying and the style in which you’re accustomed. Selecting a spot that’s conducive for hot sex wouldn’t hurt either and that place is not usually a hostel. Just sayin’.

Divide Duties According to Your Strengths—Including Languages
The Husband is good at logistics, I think it calms him to buy flights and rent cars. I’m better with picking restaurants and cultural spots or tours so we break up the planning accordingly. For example, during our honeymoon, he picked the air travel and lodging—he did a fantastic job, by the way, we stayed in a newly opened villa on Isla De Mujeres with a view I still enjoy in my day dreams—and I chose our restaurants and adventures, like our day-long bus trip to Chichen Itza and the Pyramid of Kukulcan. Believe me, seeing that bit of history in the middle of the Mexican jungle was amazing but it was absolutely something I talked The Husband into doing.

Regarding languages, we divide the pie, I lead our path in Spanish speaking countries and he handles the French. It makes things easier, plus I don’t know much in French beside “sortie” and “oui,” said like a flat, unenthused Frenchman.

Be Easy
Everything isn’t going to go according to your vacation’s itinerary. The weather will be angry, the cooking class you booked will be cancelled or the store you researched to buy that one item that will let you stunt on all your friends back home will be closed for renovations—or if you’re tall like me, you’ll get to Buenos Aires, Argentina and realize that the entire country only sells clothes large enough to fit svelte elves. Still, keep an open mind. A sour attitude can really ruin a trip and no one wants to drag along a complainer—let alone give them brain later. Speaking of …

Do Sex … Safely
Give him a blow job after lunch, request some brain in the shower, make love on the rooftop of your private villa beneath the hot Mexican sun and bang the headboard right off that hotel bed—just don’t get arrested. No one wants to find themselves on Locked Up Abroad for public indecency. They cane people in other countries, you know.

With these notes, I hope your next boo trip will be a success and remember, be patient and don’t off one another. International or no, jails suck. And, as I always like to remember, when people show you who they are—especially abroad when they feel free enough to be their “real selves”—believe them.

#TravelFly ladies.

Last 5 posts by Hillary Crosley