At 87, she experienced a life that many of us dream of.  From Brasil to Brooklyn, she loved, cried, laughed, fought, worked, nurtured, sacrificed, danced, and walked a mile in her shoes, just to provide those around her with a wealth of knowledge and wisdom. Many people called her “mommy”—even those that she did not raise. I called her grandma, or in Portuguese,  “vóvó”   —Mahogs

This is the third and final installment of “Lessons from Vóvó.”  On Wednesday, January 27, Mrs. Ivone Dos Santos Seetram passed away. May her words live with us forever and we never forget her amazing spirit.

SB: You have been a good friend to many people over the years. But I know that with friendship, there will be disagreements or conflict. What is your advice on how to deal with that?

Vóvó : I’m very careful when I open my mouth. If I’m wrong, help me to accept it. But I never can say I wish something bad on someone because they say something bad about me. When you wish somebody bad, it seems like the one defense that you have. My defense is, if I deserve [what was said about me], I ask God to help me to deal but eventually things come back in my favor. And I feel free. I never put myself on top. I just leave it in God’s hands. (more…)

At 87, she has experienced a life that many of us dream of.  From Brasil to Brooklyn, she has loved, cried, laughed, fought, worked, nurtured, sacrificed, danced, and walked a mile in her shoes, just to be here today with a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, ready to share it with those of us just starting this journey that we call life.  Many people call her “mommy”—even those that she did not raise. I call her grandma, or in Portuguese,  “vóvó”   —Mahogs

Here is the second installment of “Lessons from Vóvó”, a series of jewels dropped by one of our treasured elders.  The last time she schooled us on love and money and this time, it’s all about gender roles and the rules of engagement.

Vóvó on roles of men and women Women today are more independent. When I met my husband, he said, ‘When I finish school, you don’t have to work.’  I’ll take care of you.  Back then, men wanted to take care of their women. The woman I used to work for had a high school education and married a man who was an ambassador at the UN.

Back then, men told their mothers, ‘I want a new woman.’  The mothers would ask, ‘Would she make a good mother… can she make a good wife and take care of the house?’  Now, the mothers want to know, ‘What does she do to help you?’  And now you see more men who don’t work and let their women work.  I think that’s terrible.  A man has to be a man.  Both can work together.

Now for women who stay at home and complain about housework—they have a washing machine, vacuum cleaner, dishwasher. They have it easy. Then their man comes home from working hard and they open a can of packaged food for them to eat? That’s terrible. (more…)

At 87, she has experienced a life that many of us dream of.  From Brasil to Brooklyn, she has loved, cried, laughed, fought, worked, nurtured, sacrificed, danced, and walked a mile in her shoes, just to be here today with a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, ready to share it with those of us just starting this journey that we call life.  Many people call her “mommy”—even those that she did not raise.

I call her grandma, or in Portuguese,  “vóvó”   —Mahogs

Here is the first installment of “Lessons from Vóvó”, a series of jewels dropped by one of our treasured elders!

(more…)