Three’s Company

When you meet a woman you never know what the nature of the relationship between will be. There’s an old saying that says, “a woman knows if she wants to sleep with you within the first minute of knowing you.” Now I don’t know about that but I do know that if and when a woman does “choose you,” she ain’t giving up until she gets what she wants. When you have a little bit of status this almost becomes the norm and you find yourself turning most of these invites down. But when you’ve got nothing better to do, and the stars align just right, you just let it happen and sort it out later. This brings me to the story of “three’s company.”

The night started out like any other, my homeboys and I hit a few clubs, (mostly to holla at DJs) and by the second spot, I was ready to hit the crib and call over a steady for a night cap. But my man, being the thirstball that he is, insisted that we stay until more ladies arrived (that he wasn’t gonna talk to anyway…). I obliged him and soon the club’s ratio turned in our favor and there was plenty of eye candy. Our table was in the heart of the action and a slew of choices were walking by and gathering in our vicinity. I saw a few prospects but I really wasn’t in the mood to chase, so I fell back and kept working on my drink.

As I said earlier, the week before, I had gone out every night to politic with the local DJs, and one of the spots I hit was a b-level strip club that I’d frequented in my rookie days. The spot is considered b-level because most of the good dancers migrated from other clubs and only moonlighted there (I know, I know, I spend too much damn time in these places), beyond that, the place is small and rundown. On the night I was there however, none of this seemed to matter. Five girls were on stage putting on a show and one was so into it (she had to be high) that she started to go down on one of her partners in crime right on the stage. Believe it or not fellatio is not a normal part of a strip club show, I actually think it’s against the rules, so I threw about $200 dollars on stage before we settled up and hit the next spot.

Back to the current evening with my thirstball homeboy, some of the chicks from the strip club were in the V.I.P. section and standing right in front of me. Now I don’t know if I’m just a stripper magnet or what, but it didn’t take one of them long to strike up a bullshit conversation with me, and I found myself locked into an exchange about rap while her two friends took turns photographing each other (shaking my head…). My homeboy went around the table getting names and ages and it was no surprise that they were all 22, 21, and 18 years-old. It was crazy to me because the 18 year-old looked 25, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she confirmed her age. The 21 year-old was brown skinned with a nice lil’ body (she’d started the conversation) and seemed to be really shy for her line of work. We dubbed her “Quiet,” and her friend “Red” because of her light complexion. The more we talked the more “Quiet” revealed what she knew about me (wikipedia) and it was clear that she “chose up.”

About ten minuets later, a random dude walked up to the table who knew the 18 year-old, and after ten more minutes they left “to go to another club.” It was almost closing time and the remaining two started to debate aloud what they should do for the rest of the night. I wasn’t really excited about either so I stayed out of their way and suggested we walk to our cars. I was parked in the valet and they were parked in the lot so we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways. Before my boy and I could say the “night” portion of “good night,” the twosome pulled up in their Honda Accord, asking what we were doing. My head said “going home,” but my other head was saying, well, you know what it was saying.

I had them follow me to a local hotel (I always take into account the possibility of being set up by a scandalous woman) and when we checked into the suite, both women gravitated towards me. My man wasn’t really tripping because this wasn’t really his type of hype so he left (with my chain and money) after he saw that I was cool.

While I assumed that I was going to get with “Quiet,” “Red” wasn’t quick to concede but after awhile, with every advance “Quiet” made “Red” reciprocated. In my head I felt a ménage in the works so I started to work the room equally. While “Quiet” was timid at times “Red” was aggressive and came out of her clothes first. “Quiet,” sensing that she was loosing her foothold with me, followed suit and took off her bottoms claiming she “couldn’t sleep in them.”

This was becoming interesting because it appeared that they weren’t working toward a threesome; they were racing toward me. I was cool with that though because I won either way. On one hand, I get one and it would make for an interesting night, and on the other, I would get both and it would make for an interesting story. At this point I started to touch “Quiet” but she pulled back, prompting me to turn to “Red” and try the same move. After “Quiet” noticed that “Red” was enjoying herself a bit too much, she got up and went in the living room. I quickly followed “Quiet” and tried to coax her back into the bedroom (“Red” did too) but she clearly felt defeated and chose to let us go on without her.

The next morning I walked into the living room where “Quiet” was sitting up fully dressed and mad as hell. She was mad not that we didn’t do anything but that her friend, whom she’d told all about me, had passed her by and got what she came for. I didn’t really feel bad because in my head it seemed like she was holding back, maybe because she was shy or maybe because she was hoping for a more serious situation. Either way she played herself.

As we all waited for our cars “Red” whispered in my ear, “I wanted you when I first walked into the V.I.P.” I laughed and gave her my number. We haven’t seen each other since and we’ve only spoken on the phone once, her and “Quiet” don’t carpool anymore either.

-Southern Gentleman

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