The Beautiful Ones

As a society we’re basically conditioned to believe that celebrities have the best of everything. Ever watch an episode of MTV Cribs? Celebs have the best houses, cars, jewelry; even the contents of their refrigerators are better than ours. So when it comes to Hollywood relationships we’d just assume they got us beat again right?
That being said I’d like to congratulate the homie Nick Cannon on the wedding, I hope Mariah knows she got a playa for life and that’s no bullshitin’.
What does their matrimony have to do with me? Well, this past Saturday was an interesting one in the Bundy household. My wifey and I spent the day taking the kids to and fro and it was quite nice. While we were out with the kiddies, we spent the whole day playing a lil’ sexy game, whispering in each others ears what we were gonna do to the other when the night fell. I mean it’s a nice way to build up anticipation for some serious love making- it sure beats rolling over, copulating and falling asleep. I forgot who initiated it, but we really got into it and it helped us focus on our relationship while still paying attention and spending the day with the kids. So we finally get home and put the youngins to sleep and at about midnight we’re laying in bed, I’m rubbing her back and then BAM, she falls asleep. Like DEAD ASLEEP, I didn’t take it too bad because this has happened before. I just regret actually being duped again.

So as I lay there frustrated, I get to thinking, “I bet Beyonce doesn’t just snooze out on Hov like this.” Well does she? Actually it probably works the other way around because Mr. Shawn Corey is the same age as my grandfather and he can’t even stay awake past Wheel of Fortune. But that’s beside the point.

Of course celebs have problems in their relationships, maybe even more than us. So sure I’d love to play the T.I. role and have a Tiny by my side. Imagine having a ride or die chick that would raise your kids by day and go to the club recruiting a gang of freaks to bring home to you at night. But then I’d have T.I.’s problems – no thanks. Shit look at my fellow countryman Marc Anthony, now if that isn’t the good life I don’t know what is. Homeboy gets to lay up, sniff coke all day and feel on J.Lo’s booty R.Kelly style. But if the only way I’d stand a shot with La Lopez is by dabbling with the nose candy, I’ll pass.

An old wise Latino once told me, “Mijo sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.” It seemed a little unimportant at the time and when he told me I smiled. Picture jewels being handed to an innocent child. But now some 15 years later, I get it. Mariah Cannon gets headaches too! Good luck Nick.

-Al “Brooklyn” Bundy

Want more Bundy? Check out his previous posts here.

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