It’s Not Right But It’s OK

No matter how many different women I date, I have the hardest time understanding female logic. Growing up, I took my losses and learned a thing or two about different types of women. I mastered how to attract and get what I wanted but for the life of me, I could never figure out what the hell THEY want. Obviously, there isn’t one coveted prize that all chicks are looking for but you would think the gender would at least have a ballpark in mind.
Men are pretty simple. We want sex. It’s pretty much our all-consuming goal. I have a bunch of shit that I paid way too much for, and all because of a woman.

When I was in high school, all I wanted was clothes and a haircut. When I got a little bit older, it was a car and a dope house; then Gucci, Louis and gold (not in that exact order). I wanted of these things to catch some attention, so I could ultimately have some sex! I wasn’t playing games, telling lies (no big lies) and I was pretty forward in my intentions. While being caught up in the mix, I might’ve bought a few gifts and had a few girlfriends but they knew my aim from the start.

In case you’re wondering, my rant stems from a recent situation. There was this woman I was with for a long time, let’s call her Kiesha, and I’m not afraid to say that I loved her. In fact, I thought she was someone with whom I could start a family and commit to long-term. Kiesha was everything I wanted (well almost). She had a job, was driven, and, yes, she was gorgeous. When we first started dating, everybody was sweating her and I was the only one that wasn’t really going in. I guess my disinterest sparked her interest because we were just talking and she chose me.

When we began, the situation was no different from any other. We had sex and caught the occasional movie. Not long after, I found myself doing relationship stuff, but I wasn’t mad because Kiesha was so thorough. A few months in, the real woman shit surfaced like the thousand phone calls every hour, little tests and all the other insecurities that come along with a relationship.

Why is it that a woman can know my career (as a rapper), know what it entails and still act brand new when it’s time for me to tour, stay out late and, ultimately, break dates? When you enter a relationship with an entertainer, you are making a decision to put up with certain issues that are bound to arise because of my profession. By rapper standards, I’m very normal! I made sure we went to a few movies every month, dinner whenever I was home, and I even offered to take her with me when I was out on the road. Still, all I ever got was complaining.

Complaining is nothing new because even the most trusting, low maintenance woman will find a reason to say something if she is in a mood. What bothered me most was her need for me to constantly validate my commitment to our relationship. If I didn’t call her by a certain time in the morning, or if I wasn’t the last voice she heard at night, all of a sudden I didn’t really care. I let this go a few times but eventually I had to check her about it and that’s when other issues began to appear.

As I said earlier, Kiesha was bad as hell. But the thing I hated was that whenever I would check her about her insecurity she would always say things like “I’m a pretty girl and a lot of guys would be happy to have me.” Another one of her favorite things to do was hold out on sex if she felt like I wasn’t “communicating” enough. These things usually led to me spazzing out and she’d give in on her bullshit arguments, but the mere fact that she would say something so wack or use sex as a weapon made me mad. It definitely took Kiesha down a few notches in my book.

Once I started to notice her flaws on a regular basis, I started doing me kind of hard. It wasn’t that I didn’t care for her but her actions made me feel like we weren’t going to be together long term. It was around this time that she started to break-up with me at least once a month if she didn’t feel like I was giving her what she “needed.”

Now don’t get it twisted I was still there for her 200%. Anything she needed I tried to provide whether it was money, time or whatever, but she still found reasons to complain. The more we went back and forth, the more I started to realize that it wasn’t me. It was just the type of woman Kiesha was. She was used to dudes sweating her and just being happy to have her around. They didn’t ask anything of her except to be fly and let them show her off. Me, I’m not so easy. It wasn’t long before I broke it off for good.

I don’t think I’ll ever totally figure out women. But to be honest, I don’t really think I want to. I’m glad for all of my experiences over the years, they have taught me how to better deal with women. It would be wack if you always knew what to expect from every chick you met. Kiesha, well, she helped me better recognize the signs of women that I don’t need to date.

—Southern Gentleman

If you like Southern Gentleman, check out the rest of his exploits here.

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