Sex Drive: Kicking Sex

Written By Bobbi

We live in a crazy society where different stimuli are coming at us all the time. As such, it makes perfect sense to me that EVERYONE is checking in to rehab. So when I learned, through E!, that actor David Duchovny (better known as Fox Mulder on the X-Files) is being treated for a sexual addiction, I was not surprised. Especially since the man plays an “over-sexed struggling writer” on Showtime series Californication (pictured above). But it did make me want to learn more about sexual addiction. So I WebMD‘d it… Here’s are some behaviors associated with sexual addiction:

Compulsive masturbation

Multiple affairs

Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands

Consistent use of pornography

Unsafe sex

Phone or computer sex

Prostitution or use of prostitute

After reading the definition of a sexual addict, and reading this list of behaviors, I have surmised that we are ALL potential sex addicts. Who hasn’t fallen victim to at least one of these activities? I suppose prostitution/use of prostitutes could be a stretch, but we all know some one who went to Amsterdam or the Dominican Republic and hired a hooker. In fact, a number of us (and I would argue that it’s a large number) know people who were at one time or another giving up the goods for money. All the other activities on that list seem acceptable in our society. Yes, we scold our friends when they have unsafe sex. We are probably even bewildered when we learn that our co-worker is posting ads on Craigslist about how horny she is, but we don’t frown on them in the way that we would if we found a needle in the bottom of her pen drawer. And while multiple affairs are looked down upon, last week’s Sex Drive taught us that loads of people have a little something on the side.

Assuming that sexual addiction is the combination of two or more of these behaviors mixed in with an obsession with sex that is so thick that it inhibits one from going about his or her day, then it must be effin’ hard to kick sex. Our bodies were designed for sex! We need sex more than we need our morning coffee and cigarette. And when we don’t have it, we go through pangs of withdrawal and act irrationally, and do stupid things like have one night stands or sleep with prostitutes just to get a fix. However, I can’t imagine needing a fix like so frequently that it would impair my daily life. Further more, I don’t want to imagine feeling like I need sex all the time and being denied sex due to my addictive nature.
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The WebMD article goes on to say that, “treatment for Sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality. Treatment includes education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/ or family therapy.” It also says, medications like Prozac and Anafranil may also be used to “curb the compulsive nature of the sex addiction.”

In my opinion, sex is an integral part of the optimal fulfillment of an adult creature’s life. Basically, we need sex like we need a well-balanced diet. So really, unlike addiction to cigarettes, or alcohol or other drugs, you can’t ever “cure” your sexual addiction (and I guess a recovered alcoholic might say the same thing about alcoholism), you can only subdue it because you gotta get laid. I can only imagine how hard it must be to be addicted to sex and control your sexual appetite while remaining sexually active (I’m assuming that David Duchovny and his wife Tea Leoni want to continue sleeping together). How do you know when you’ve relapsed? What signs plainly show you that you’ve stopped having healthy sex and are now entering the realm of unhealthy sex (And who doesn’t enjoy a little unhealthy sex now and again…)?

Parlour readers, I hope I have not instilled in you the fear (that I now have) of your own recessive sex addict gene. And David Duchovny, my heart (and sexual organs) goes out to you. I think what you are attempting is incredibly courageous. Good luck, and please write a book about it once you’re in recovery.

—P.S. How come we never hear about female stars being sex addicts? Hit us back if you can think of any.

Last 5 posts by Bobbi