Top 10 Reasons to Rock the Vote

CNN’s National Poll of Polls shows that the election is neck and neck; McCain’s ahead 2%, buoyed by a post-convention “bounce.” Just in case you don’t think you matter in this election, here are the top ten reasons why need to not only vote, but make sure everyone you know does, too:
10. Two-Face may be good name for a comic book villain, but it’s a horrible name for a president.
9. A 72 year-old Commander in Chief x Stroking out in a fit of rage = hockey mom in the White House.
8. Not everyone wants to work until they are mad old—I, for one, would like to be able to retire some day..7. Um, yeah, it’s my uterus.

6. Pouring ‘Tussin on that gash is only gonna work but so long—you need health insurance, STAT.

5. Two-thousand-and-one days in Iraq is two-thousand-and-one days too many-and I’m not following anyone to the gates of hell.

4. You know Michelle Obama’s Inauguration Ball gown is gonna be bangin’.

3. Rusted snowmobiles on the White House lawn couldn’t possibly be good for the housing market.

2. Little brown girls running around the Oval Office. Eee!

And the #1 reason why you need to rock the vote: A one-way plane ticket to Canada is hella expensive.

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