…Says the Single Girl: The Cost of Dating

Not sure if you heard, but there is a recession creeping across America and aside from the middle Americans who have foreclosed on their homes, that single mother who lost her job and can’t feed her kids or the college kid who is no longer getting financial aid, single women are suffering. If you are unwed, unattached and out on the dating scene, like myself, you may have noticed something is amiss. Walk past any nice restaurant between the hours of 6-10pm and you’ll find empty seats. You’re out to dinner with your girls and you notice that there are several tables filled with girls just like yourselves, laughing, sharing plates, or mixed pairs but mostly parties of 3 or more. No, your mind isn’t playing tricks on you. The dinner date is dead!

I began noticing the extinction of dinner as a early stage date option mid-summer. I kept hearing the words “Coffee Date” or “Lets meet for coffee”. For one, I do not drink coffee; have never felt tempted to drink coffee nor do I find the inside of a Starbuck’s charming. In fact they all have faint aroma of homelessness and laptop dust. Still, my friends and I wondered what is this about. I asked the men and the explanation was…well it was…

“It’s a recession and I need to know that you have real potential before I come up off $75, $100 for dinner.”

Looky here, if you think you can take two hours of my time to ask me all types of personal questions while I sip on some hot shit I don’t want while my stomach is doing cartwheels cause I hotfooted it over here on my lunch break for coffee, you have another thing coming.

Let’s do the math:

1 cup of coffee/tea/fancy fruity shit = $4.79

Time spent in coffee shop, talking = 2 hours

Cost of travel to and from coffee date = $4.00 (on public transportation in NYC)

$4.79 / 2 hours + $4.00 – the chances of you seeing me again = You’re a cheap bastard

I can understand being on a budget but you mean to tell me that somewhere between paying $4.79 for a vente Kujichagulia and $40 per person for dinner, you can’t find a nice eatery that will cost you $30 for the whole shabang? Chinese? Thai? BBQ (not BBQ’s the hood chain spot with the steroid chicken wings)? These types of food don’t cost $75 for two. Be inventive and find places with charm and good food. Understand that good doesn’t have to mean gourmet.

Dinner isn’t the end all be all and you not offering it to us as option no. 1 on the “Let’s Hang Out” list isn’t a deal breaker (for most). It does, however, hinder the process. Dinner shows a woman that you are prepared to provide for her. You can work and bring home the (turkey) bacon.

Taking a woman out to dinner is the modern day version of a caveman bringing home a kill: “Look sweetie, look what I slayed for you today in the wilderness. Are you proud of me? Did I make you happy? Are you impressed?”

Taking a woman out for coffee says: “I’d fuck you.”

I’m all for making sure you know a person and if you really want to pursue them. But to place a woman’s value on whether she is worth a meal after 6pm is insulting. Not to mention with women having the balls to approach you dudes you shouldn’t be surprised if when you offer dinner at the end of the meal she picks up the tab.

People, I’m just merely suggesting that men stop thinking with their ego’s and realize that we women know that there is a recession. You can look at our nails and see we’ve been skipping on our manicure appointments (ladies, no matter how bad it gets…never skip the feet. I’ll eat ramen noodles for a week in order to pay for a pedicure, oh and my eyebrows too!) Gentlemen, we ladies promise not to lock up the coochie, or think less of you if you want to take us to Chili’s or Red Lobster for the “All You Can Eat Shrimp” special.

A real woman will ride with you during these hard fiscal times.

—Says the Single Girl

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Last 5 posts by The Single Girl

  • Well said sister. I love the dinner vs. provider analysis. I’ve been trying to get this across to people forever.

  • Clinton Wesley

    i feel you on that Single Girl.

  • Girl, PREACH! And I will give you an amen…

  • Moochie

    I like the Lobster Pizza at RL…

  • Cheap Bastid

    No way…. “sip a latte, and maybe we can paatay.”

    One min yall independent, next min you’re mad cause we pull a couple clams back. You know how many girls I talk to? $40 x 5 (per week)… That’s tyler perry money.

    You should feel lucky if I don’t pour this flatbush frappucino on your lap shawty…

  • Enovaj

    This is why I cook. I think that is so much more intimate than going out and buying something. Anybody can buy something. Plus you may have more fun cooking, especially if he can help out. And who knows, the food may never get done *wink*.
    There is so many other things you can do for free to date someone. Money isn’t the only way to show you care. If he’s/she’s really into you money won’t matter if you are just sitting in the crib sharing a glass of kool-aid.

    Nice blog SG


  • Slap

    Man, here we go. You women should know it 2008, this is not the 50’s. YOU CAN PICK UP DINNER SOME TIMES TO.
    Grady asses.
    And i am not talking about even half the time, just 25% of the time would be nice.

  • GVG

    Taking a woman out for coffee says: “I’d fuck you.” Wrong!

    Never calling you before 11:30 says “I want to fuck you!”, matter of fact you don’t even get a call. check for that 11:35 text I just sent you.

  • Si

    Ohh poor little princess cant afford her manicure anymore. BOO-HOO. We have bigger things to be worrying about. Why dont women just pay their share on dates, then there would be no problem.