I’m Taking The Kids

I won’t front, I got a ton of pride. One of my negative qualities is the inability to let go of it. In arguments, I hold on to my angst even when I’m wrong because my pride won’t let me admit my fault. But pride isn’t all bad. When I look at my life, the thing that makes me most proud are my kids: my two sons.

Over the weekend, while wifey and I were joking (I know a lot of truth is said in jest, but trust me- we were just joking) and playfully fighting, I tell her that if she keeps it up I will leave and never come back. Then I put the nail in the coffin, “and I’m taking the kids!” She just laughed at me. “You wouldn’t last a day as a single dad, you’ll bring ’em back in 24 hours,” she said laughing.

So I thought about it, and my pride just won’t let me do let someone else take care of my kids. If the chips were down, if I had to do it alone, I’d be a terrific dad. As my wife and I joke about this hypothetical scenario, I am reminded of my best friend who is actually going through this in real life. He has two kids, two baby mamas (both of them equally crazy and I’m not being biased, these broads are nutso) and told me that he plans to fight them both for custody. Now usually custody battles favor the mother (now ain’t them some sexiest shit), but both of his baby mamas are so screwed up, my boy could win a moral victory for all dads across the world.

I just couldn’t imagine a split from wifey at all. Even though she bugs me and complains a lot, something-something-something, she’s all I got (shout to Jimmy Cozier). But, as much as it would kill me to live a life without the wife, it would absolutely destroy me to live a life without my sons. Now I know you guys are thinking, “Bundy what about joint custody.” No, that just won’t do; I need to see my boys everyday. It kills me when I come home late from work and my oldest is already sleeping, sometimes I just wanna wake him up and hear about his day. And God forbid we split, wifey gets re-hitched and another man helps raise ’em… that won’t work at all!

So just to be safe, if the shit goes down; I’m taking the kids. You heard it here first.

-Al “Brooklyn” Bundy

Want more Bundy? Check out his previous posts here.

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