…Says the Single Girl: What Ever Happened to Slow Jam Mixtapes?

There was this boy I adored in high school. Lord, I was smitten, in lust. You name it; I felt it. Each night I would lie in bed and listen to the slow jam show on the radio, letting the songs carry me to sleep as I dreamt about him touching on my pubescent body. I wanted to make the kind of love Brian McKnight crooned about. Feel his nature rise. Call his name. With time, I would find myself in those very real life moments, usually accompanied by a slow jams tape (yes, TAPE) usually dubbed from the radio. It was the perfect mood music for knocking boots.

Why am I am recalling my younger sex life now, you ask?

Well, I didn’t realize how much I missed bed music until I caught myself getting it on to …The Carter 3 (excuse me Tha Carter III)…in my own house…and yes, it was my CD!

People, what have we come to?

Where are the R&B love songs? Songs that boys would mouth the words to, exemplifying how much they cared? I’m talking about the songs a guy would keep a tape in his boombox cued to press “Record” so when the radio happened to play it he grabbed that…and could later present you with a mixtape bearing the handwritten label: The [Insert Your Name Here] Love Mix!

Aww…I miss those days. Especially in college when you first started to explore your freedom. The roommate would be out late (’cause you planned it that way). The lights were off. Maybe a candle was lit if you were into that romantic shit and could afford it on your work study budget. Incense burning. And playing would be songs like:

R. Kelly – Baby, Baby, Baby

Dru Hill – Beauty

Maxwell – This Woman’s Work

Tracie Spencer – Tender Kisses

Intro – Ribbon in the Sky

Jodeci – U and I

Janet Jackson – Anytime, Anyplace

Boyz II Men – Uhh Ahh

Tevin Campbell – Shhh

R. Kelly – The Greatest Sex

Tony Toni Tone – Anniversary (Extended)

I asked some of my friends about the lack of music during those intimate times and was saddened by what I was told:

“I don’t need music.” – man

“I feel like sex just happens and who wants to wait for someone to put on music?” – woman

“I’ll fuck to anything; slow jam, commercial on TV, my cell phone ringing.” – of course a man

Herein lies the problem. We no longer make sex an event. It just happens. Fuck that, I want a man to be like, “Single Girl, I made this play list just for you!” I’d be all over him like Amy Winehouse on a crack pipe.

PS…I know there are tons of songs that I could have included but what do you think your comments are for?

— Says the Single Girl

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(Check out one of our favorite posts, “Hip Hop Songs That Get The Skins“)

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