Changing The Menu


I was out with my French friend Gail last night. She is the first person I knew in Paris. Even though she is three years younger than me I somehow feel that she slightly more mature…more practical. Gail lives with her Copine (Boyfriend) Leonelle. After four years, they still have the type of relationship that makes you envious—very affectionate and supporting.

At dinner, I was telling Gail that this is the year that I settle down and have a committed relationship. I then went on to give her a rundown of my prospects with their pros and cons. She listened. And then like the sage she is told me in French that when she first got with Leonelle she had some doubts about a long-term relationship which she expressed to her Mother. Her Mom broke it down saying that choosing a lifelong partner is like ordering from a menu at a restaurant. There may be many things on the menu that interest you (i.e. many different men) but you can’t have them all. And finally you must choose one main course. And that once you make your selection you commit to enjoying your choice and look forward to dessert i.e. keeping it fresh.

My problem has always been choosing one main course. I have yet to meet a man that meets everything on my “must have” list. American women in Gen X and Y have been taught not to settle and further more encouraged to go for exactly what we want. The question I am asking myself —Is choosing one guy that may not have all the qualities you dreamed of the same as settling? And if so, is it really such a bad thing?

-French Kissed

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Last 5 posts by French Kissed

  • Miss T

    I like the advise that her Mom gave her. I was having a similar conversation with a friend, except he was male and said, once you decide to commit you have to put in the work and enjoy the ride. I think alot of us are jaded by the ‘list’ and other things. So this year i’m going to decide on one main course and look forward to the dessert 😉

  • Personally I think that the right guy is the one who makes you throw out your checklist. It just feels right, and good, and you just don’t want it to end even if maybe they don’t possess all the traits you thought your life partner would have.