Don’t Do It Captain!: Banned Rapper Phrases for ’09

In the spirit of slicing redundencies for this recession- and for my general sanity- my boy and I have compiled a list of phrases that MC’s- and those poseurs- are no longer allowed to say during interviews in 2009. Ready? Set? GO!!!

There’s alot of growth on this album… (No, there wasn’t. Stop saying that! ex. Plies’ Da REAList vs. Definition of Real. sigh.)

I’m in the streets, I’m talk about real shit… (If you’re always in the streets, how, I ask, do you find time to record music? Shouldn’t you be out shooting, robbing or “slanging them birds?”)

I’m always in the studio, I sleep in the studio… (But wait, if you’re always in the streets ((above)) then how are you always in the studio? Just where exactly are you? And- would you really wanna sleep in the studio? Is the studio that fun?)

I’m trying to grow, but not leave my fans behind… (This is usually said when a rapper makes a bad-to-mediore album, like Talib’s The Beautiful Struggle or Common’s Universal Mind Control and their fans throw rocks at them via online comments.)

My fans just aren’t ready for what I’m doing right now, maybe no one is. But few recognize greatness. Didn’t Einstein say that? (This is a light riff on an answer that an MC like Kanye and, God bless him, Lupe would give. Can you imagine? And we have to look at these dudes with a straight face!?! LOL!)

My shit is real, it’s my life, I ain’t like these fake rappers… (**looking at said MC’s busted kicks and wondering…if you’re so real, then why do you look so busted? Aren’t dope boys going…crazy? see Jeezy. hmmm**)

I have a clothing line, liquor, cologne coming out soon (aka an inappropriate love for late 1990s hip-hop accutriments. stop it. stop it. stop it.) *EDIT- Obviously, we published this too late because 50 Cent and friends didn’t get the message…Thx Allhiphop. SMH.

Now we present to you, the “just why” category- for rappers that in their mere existence are cliche:




What are you done with from your fave artists in 2009? You can tell us, lol…

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