Time for Something New


I’ve never questioned my preference for black Men. Since coming to France, I have had to open myself to Something New. This happened for several reasons…first, I wanted to be open to finding love despite its packaging and secondly…out of necessity. What does that mean? After being here for a few months, I realized that when I was out French brown men did not approach me.

Even when my French friend Gail’s boyfriend Leonelle whose parents are from Martinique—(read brown skin) introduced me to his friends, I would not be telling the truth if I didn’t say I noticed that all of his brown friends were with French women (read: not of color).

There was a lesson for me to learn. Too often African-American women potentially miss out on true love by limiting themselves to only black men. As the months have passed in France, I quickly realized if I followed the “only date black men” rule I had in the States that I would be alone here in France.

My suspicions were confirmed last week while out with Sydney, an American friend, and Alexis, who is from the UK and not brown. We were having drinks at a bar I frequent. Everyone at the bar showers us with attention except one bartender who ironically, besides us, is the only other person of color. Interestingly enough this night he begins chatting us up immediately...Sydney thought it was because he was interested in Alexis. Alexis and the bartender went out the next night. After the date she told us that the reason the bartender did not talk to us is that he said he is not attracted to black women.

I mentioned this to a French guy Med who is friends with the bartender. Med thought about it for a second and then dropped a bomb. He said as a matter of fact none of the French Noire (read: black) friends he grew up with are attracted to black women. Then he asked me why I think this is and if this happens in the States. I was quiet when I realized that I didn’t have enough words in my French vocabulary to do service to the topic. But I have to admit I have been thinking about it every since.

Thoughts ladies?

-French Kissed

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