I shouldn’t have left you for so long. Its just that outside of this white page and cute font, SG has a real life to handle. I’ve been busy.
One thing I did realize while I was walking the earth is:
I’m getting older and my mother wants grandbabies.
Ladies, if you thought that was pressure, imagine the added weight of your FATHER hitting you up for grand kids!
I almost crashed the car when he made this declaration as we drove to the grocery store.
Pops: I want to introduce you to Mike.
SG: Who is Mike?
Pops: He’s tall. I think he’s about 32. He’s stable. Good-looking guy.
SG: Are you serious?
Pop: Yes, I want some grandkids.
SWERVE!
SG: What does he do?
Pops: He’s the UPS man.
SG: Pops, are you serious?!? (cue Neffy from Keyshia Cole show)
Pops: He’s been on the job for 10 years.
SG: Does he have children?
Pops: Yes, one. It don’t live with him though.
SG: Really, is that the kind of man you want me to marry? An absentee father?
Pops: I’m just saying the kid lives in another state.
SG: This conversation is over!
Ladies, you thought you felt the pressure when your mother starts on you about having kids but when your father starts…lord have mercy.
I thought about what my life would be like if I were already a mother. I would be a totally different person with a different outlook, goals, wardrobe, bedtime and bank statement.
Of course I want children but I can’t let my biological clock overrule my senses. Senses that tell me that before I think of having children I must:
1. Learn how to keep a plant alive
2. Get a dog (its like practice)
3. Become involved in a healthy relationship
4. Balance my checkbook
5. Repent for all the times I’ve made fun of other people’s kids
6. Take a trip to some far off place where I’ll never be able to go once I’m a mom
In the meantime I’ll keep dispensing unfertilized eggs.
— Says the Single Girl
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P.S. I missed you guys
image via pjlighthouse
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