…Says The Single Girl: Womb For Sale

I shouldn’t have left you for so long. Its just that outside of this white page and cute font, SG has a real life to handle. I’ve been busy.

One thing I did realize while I was walking the earth is:

I’m getting older and my mother wants grandbabies.

Ladies, if you thought that was pressure, imagine the added weight of your FATHER hitting you up for grand kids!

I almost crashed the car when he made this declaration as we drove to the grocery store.

Pops: I want to introduce you to Mike.

SG: Who is Mike?

Pops: He’s tall. I think he’s about 32. He’s stable. Good-looking guy.

SG: Are you serious?

Pop: Yes, I want some grandkids.

SWERVE!

SG: What does he do?

Pops: He’s the UPS man.

SG: Pops, are you serious?!? (cue Neffy from Keyshia Cole show)

Pops: He’s been on the job for 10 years.

SG: Does he have children?

Pops: Yes, one. It don’t live with him though.

SG: Really, is that the kind of man you want me to marry? An absentee father?

Pops: I’m just saying the kid lives in another state.

SG: This conversation is over!

Ladies, you thought you felt the pressure when your mother starts on you about having kids but when your father starts…lord have mercy.

I thought about what my life would be like if I were already a mother. I would be a totally different person with a different outlook, goals, wardrobe, bedtime and bank statement.

Of course I want children but I can’t let my biological clock overrule my senses. Senses that tell me that before I think of having children I must:

1.  Learn how to keep a plant alive
2.  Get a dog (its like practice)
3.  Become involved in a healthy relationship
4.  Balance my checkbook
5.  Repent for all the times I’ve made fun of other people’s kids
6.  Take a trip to some far off place where I’ll never be able to go once I’m a mom

In the meantime I’ll keep dispensing unfertilized eggs.

— Says the Single Girl

Do you have a story to tell or a question for Single Girl? You can reach her directly at SingleGirlNotes@gmail.com. Don’t be shy!

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Bravely read the rest of her dating tips here.

P.S. I missed you guys

image via pjlighthouse

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