Get a Life…and His Doesn’t Count

Image and video hosting by TinyPicEvery guy wants to feel needed.  Neediness, however, is not an attractive quality.  You can show your guy that he matters without smothering him and letting your insecurities get the best of your relationship. If you’re finding yourself unlucky in love, try getting a life.
No one can tell you how many times a day you should call your guy or how often you should see him; that totally depends on the state of the relationship and the level of mutual connection.  But, if you get upset every time your guy makes plans with his friends or if you expect him to spend all of his free time with you…NEWSFLASH: the word “girlfriend” is not synonymous with “owner.” Before he met you, your guy had interests, hobbies, and friends. You wouldn’t have been attracted to him otherwise. You’re great and all, but you can’t possibly be everything to him.  No woman can.

The quickest way to kill the magic in a relationship is to become clingy. Men do not like insecure women, so save the smothering for your pork shops. Show him you’re collected and confident by encouraging his golf trip with the guys. And no, you can’t be his date to his best friend’s bachelor party. Give him a chance to miss you. You don’t have to play games with your guy, but you don’t want him to overdose on you. Besides, enjoying time apart is the best fuel for good conversation.

Relationships aren’t like math; two halves don’t make a whole. Instead, two wholes make a happy couple. Strong relationships are created when two contented people discover that their already, full lives are enhanced when they’re together. Don’t let him become your better half.  Just live your life and work him in where he fits. Naturally, as the relationship strengthens, you’ll spend more time together and certainly, if you get married, you’ll be together more often than not. But even then, it’ll be important to maintain your own identity in order to keep the relationship fresh.

It’s important to note that if your guy is cool with your lives revolving around each other, then the two of you should discuss the woes of a co-dependent relationship — alienating friends and family, losing your identity — and immediately make separate plans with your respective friends (if they’ll still have you, that is).

The point is to figure out what attracted your guy to you and keep those things alive throughout your relationship. If you were sitting at home waiting for him to come along, then great, keep it up. But if you were going to yoga class, painting in the park, and enjoying salsa night with your girlfriends—don’t stop now. Those things weren’t just placeholders for a guy, they’re part of what makes you the interesting person you are. If you don’t want him to get bored with you – or you bore of yourself -  you’d better live it up!

With Love,

Hitched Chick

Take it from a married lady, the road to the altar is not paved in gold. Read the rest of her musings here.

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