Part of being in a relationship is getting the seal of approval from friends and family. Some people actually think that without this their relationship is doomed. Others could care less if your best friend since kindergarten likes them. Sure itâ€™s great if you can win over the clan but just how far should you go to win them over.
Mother, sister, father, brother aside I really donâ€™t care how much one of my sigfig’s people like me. Actually I can even shorten that list to just his mother at the end of the day. While dating this one guy, my homegirl told me how lucky I am that both his parents were deceased.
â€œSG, Iâ€™ve been with my man for three years and his mother still refers to me as â€˜The Girlâ€™. For some reason every year we spent either Thanksgiving or Christmas at her house. Four days of hell!â€
Friends are a different matter. Friends like to think that they carry more weight than they do or should. Have you ever dated someone and gotten the vibe that their best female friend was sizing you up and sheâ€™s thinking â€œwith just one word I can get you out of here!â€
Some friends donâ€™t realize that 10 years+ of a valuable friendship doesnâ€™t trump new p***y or d*ick. Notice I said â€œnewâ€ that means your great advice or warnings regarding the new Jones carries no weight until your ace comes through the newlywed phase fog. In the end you find yourself frustrated and waiting for them to dump the person on their own.
I have a friend who tried so hard to impress her manâ€™s friends. He had a crew from college and they were basically a black and Hispanic version of the show â€œFriendsâ€. Each Saturday the six of them would do things together. They had all been unhappily single for years. Their bond was so close that when he tried to break away to spend time with his new girl the bulk of them balked. Of course the women friends did most of the complaining. (FYIâ€¦women are way more influenced by what their friends think than men. If you are trying to sway your male friend from seeing someone, good luck!) They insisted that the group had a big dinner and they get to rake my girlfriend over hot coals.
By the end of the night she gathered from the attitude of two of the women present that her new man had slept with one of them and the other was just a bitter single chick who didnâ€™t want anyone to be happy as long as her coochie was dryer than a cactus. Defeated, she called me as soon as she got home to ask what she could do to get them to like her.
â€œNothing. You arenâ€™t in a relationship with them. If you and dude progress heâ€™ll see less and less of them. Eventually you will be able to pick and choose how often you want to see them. Stick to major events, b-days, weddings, baby showers. Let them know you exist but they donâ€™t have to know who you are.â€
She stuck to the plan. Two years later they are married and only one of his friends from the â€œFriendsâ€ gang attended the wedding.
Bravely read the rest of her dating tipsÂ for Parlouristas here. Do you have a story to tell or a question for Single Girl? You can reach her directly at SingleGirlNotes@gmail.com. Donâ€™t be shy!
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