Catch Him if You Can Part 2: The Hook

Image and video hosting by TinyPicSo, you did all the right things, and that guy you had your eye on asked for your number, called you, and asked you out. If you remember to keep dangling the bait—without giving it to him—you’ll probably be asked for a second date, and a third…but what happens when things start to get more serious? Getting a few dates with a man is one thing; getting him to fall for you is another thing entirely. I don’t want to deemphasize the importance of choosing a guy who is well suited for you or downplay the impact of chemistry. But if those things are in place, there are a few surefire ways to make sure your guy won’t be able to get enough of you.
Let him be the man: Men have a natural desire to hunt, provide, fix, and protect, and they’re drawn to women who display a willingness to let them do those things. By simply letting your guy carry a heavy bag or open the pickle jar, you’ll be fulfilling one of his core needs. And if you’re lucky enough to have found a modern man with the chivalrous ways of yore, be sure to express your appreciation for his opening the car door or pulling out your chair. The next time you need help or advice, think of your guy first; if there’s anything he can do (within reason), ask him. Allow your man to take charge and make plans for a date or weekend getaway, and show him that you trust his judgment by keeping the questions to a minimum. When conflicts arise, don’t be afraid to give in and do things his way sometimes. You might be right all the time (after all, you are a woman) but he needs to know that being right is not more important to you than he is. Besides, he’ll learn.

Be his cheerleader: Men need to feel supported as much as we do—if not more. They have egos—fragile egos—and they need to be encouraged and built up. Compliment your guy whenever the opportunity arises. If he’s been working out, be sure to comment on his growing biceps. Let your guy know how wonderful and smart you think he is and tell him how sure you are that he’ll get the new job he’s interviewing for. Never shoot down your man’s aspirations, no matter how unrealistic you may think they are (though you might want to encourage him to keep his day job); instead, acknowledge that he can do anything he puts his mind to. If your guy plays a sport, go to his games and cheer him on from the sidelines. Make an effort to learn about his other interests as well. Science fiction may make your skin crawl, but if you agree to watch a few episodes of “Battlestar Galactica” without complaining, you’ll win him over before the first commercial break.

Cook for him: As the saying goes, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” and this could not be more true. In part 1 of this post, I mentioned that appealing to a man’s senses was important—his fifth sense, taste, must be conquered in the kitchen. It’s true that these days plenty of stove-phobic women still find good men, but if you can throw down in the kitchen, you’ll have a leg up on the competition. Cooking for your man will not only tantalize his taste buds, it will show him that you want to take care of him and that you’re able to tend to the home. This may sound outdated, but all men (even those who don’t mind pitching in) appreciate a woman who isn’t afraid of some housework.

Be drama free: Most men are simple creatures who shun drama and confusion. Women on the other hand…well, we tend to be more complicated. But if you can manage to keep the theatrics to a minimum, your guy will love you for it. Be rational and avoid getting upset about little things. If your guy does something wrong, ask him about his intentions before jumping to conclusions, and discuss the issue calmly. Always be honest about your feelings—if you don’t tell your guy how you feel, you can’t get mad at him for not acting accordingly. Jealously won’t keep your man from straying but it will push him away, so keep the “green-eyed monster” in check. Men don’t expect us to act like they do, and they will accept a certain amount of complication from us—when the reward outweighs the sacrifice. So if you want your guy to fall for you, make sure you turn down the drama and turn up the rewards.

Remember, if you’re hoping to hook a guy who can meet your needs and fulfill your desires, you’ve got to be prepared to do the same for him.

With Love,

Hitched Chick

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