Sex Drive: Crawling Into the Manhole


Remember the first time you read the “100 ways to please him in bed” story in Cosmo? There’s one in every issue; it doesn’t matter which one you read because they’re all the same. They all tell you to put your finger in your man’s ass.

I probably read my first one of these articles when I was about 17 and I probably cringed and said, “Yuck! I am NOT doing that! That’s like totally gay!”

But getting older I’ve realized that humans are just attracted to cleavage of any kind. When your guy turned his back to you in the shower for the first time, you also realized that his ass was more than kinda sexy. Like, if you had a dick, it would be knocking on his back door. Well, just because you have a vagina, which I’m sure he likes very much, doesn’t mean you can’t explore his nether regions.

I have a theory—that’s not backed by any scientific information—that men like anal stimulation more than women do because their penis reaches all the way down past their balls and stops right before their anus. I’m no doctor, but next time you’re going down a dude just feel around his taut member, you’ll know what I mean.

Anyway, if you feel your man might be open to it (and only if he’s open to it, because he needs to feel a little relaxed), you should try it. A good way to see if he might like to be stroked back there is to wet your index finger with your mouth and reach around him while you having sex missionary style and then just rub the opening without letting your finger enter his anus. If it feels good to him, you guys can move forward.

If he likes it (and you like it too) and you want to probe a little further, there are a few things you should know.

1) If you can, always use a lubricant. Any natural body oil will work great, so will your regular old K to the Y.

2) Make sure your hands are clean. You wouldn’t want him putting his dirty paws in your pussy, so why should you subject him to yours?

3) If you like having long nails, this activity is not for you.

Once he’s given you the green light there are a bunch of ways you can give it to him. The first time I read about fingering your man, the author recommended you put your index finger into his sphincter while you’re giving him a BJ. You can also lay on top of your guy with the two of you facing each other, while making out you can poke him and rub yourself on him for double the fun. Or during intercourse you can reach around him when you know he is getting close to cumming and glide your finger into his anus and slide it back and forth. Chances are he’ll cum a lot (didn’t you see Road Trip?).

-Lady Blackbush

P.S. Chances are he’s not immediately going to rave about how much he loves you back there. There’s a bigger chance that he’ll like it, but may feel confused because, well guys who like guys like it in there. Try to reassure him that EVERYONE likes a little tickle on their tooshie. And hopefully he trusts you enough to not blog about it! Oops!!

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